Wheelchair Worries - Sorry, you'll have to use the Gatehouse theatre toilet

"Every Monday I attend

ANDYSMANCLUB at Stafford Rugby Club"

It's free to attend, runs from 6:45pm-9pm, there's even free biscuits and (sometimes) free pastries. Rolling through the doors for the first time was incredibly daunting but something I'm glad I did as it's helped a lot and I've made some good friends there. I've been going for about 14 months and I urge anyone who's considering attending to push through any anxiety/apprehension as everybody is so welcoming and I guarantee you will feel better having got things off your chest. It gives you a different perspective of your issue(s) when you say it out loud to people rather than to yourself in your own head. Well it does for me anyway, I'm often realising that what seemed like a much bigger issue in my head, isn't when I try to explain it.

I have built up a good friendship with them and it was suggested we meet up at The Empourium on Monday 29th December as AMC would be closed for the Christmas holidays. I was quite looking forward to it, it would be a chance to have a few drinks with friends - something I don't do very often nowadays.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

Everything is on one level. The floor is wood, there is acres of room to get up to the bar. It wasn't particularly busy while I was here, but there was plenty of room in front of the bar and the bar was very very wide. I'd imagine they could fit about a dozen bar staff. There are a few pool tables, darts, crazy golf, shuffleboard,  Bowling and Table Tennis.

The Empourium 4/5: 

The Empourium

I was one of the first to arrive and their were two of the AMC lads sitting at a table. I had arrived at the same time as one of the other members so we both went to the bar to get a drink. 

The bar man spoke to me to take my order. 
"Well duh" you're thinking. "Of course he spoke to you, most bar staff do! They need to find out what you want to order."
True, but for the purposes of this post, it's quite important that he acknowledged me and my situation before I bought a drink. He leaned over the bar so that I could reach the contactless pay point.
He was definitely aware I was in a wheelchair.

We went back to the table, which was by the door, a door that we found out stays wide open unless somebody closes it - which nobody does, we,  push the door open like a saloon door or pull it open and expect it to shoot behind us. It was bloody freezing - Most pubs have two doors or the external door on a lever so it automatically closes.

I was drinking bottles rather than pints as I'd drunk a lot this Christmas and there was more to come. As I said in my previous post I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. I said I was going to the toilet and one of the people I was with said
"erm, I think the only toilet's might be upstairs."

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

Source: No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I went up to the bar to ask the bar staff where the toilets are.
"We haven't got a disabled toilet, sorry. We were let down by the builder."
I waited for the solution I was sure he'd offer. He'd served me when I came in, surely he'd noticed then that I was in a wheelchair and I wasn't going to be able to get to the toilets. Surely he realises that this is an essential requirement when serving people beer?

One of the guys I was with said "you could go to the Gatehouse."
I was furious. Not with my friend, but that this solution wasn't offered by the barman. Furious I wasn't warned before I bought the drink. Furious that he had tried to blame it on being let down.

So off I went. Two hundred yards up the road to use the toilet in another establishment. As I was leaving The Gatehouse to return to The Empourium I bumped into the manager who had personally helped me a few months previously when I went to watch Milton Jones. She was incredibly helpful then and told me I could pop back and use their facilities whenever I needed to. 

I returned to our table by the seemingly permanently open door. I returned for about twenty minutes and with an almost empty bottle of beer in front of me I needed to visit The Gatehouse...AGAIN! It was now raining. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet but I wasn't very enthusiastic at the prospect of getting wet every time I went to the loo, so I phoned my Dad and asked him to come and get me.

There are two entrances to The Gatehouse. The main entrance (which has steps) and  an entrance with a ramped access (about ten yards further down). On this occasion the automatic door decided not to slide open. I could see the lights on the sensor change from green to red, I presumed 'red' meant it wasn't going to open but I also assumed it was due to my position/stature. There was a group of people walking past, I called out - slightly panicked as I hadn't planned for this delay. A guy broke away from the pack to come and activate the sensor for me. It didn't work for him either. So he went to the entrance and opened the door from the other side.

"Thanks!" I called out as I whizzed past him.

I hope he didn't think I was being rude and didn't seem sufficiently thankful for his help. I was veery grateful, but the situation was critical by then.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I've updated Empourium's rating to 1 out of 5. All of the positive points I mentioned previously still stand but when you're expected to go elsewhere to go to the toilet...

The Empourium 1/5: 

**********

A new bar featuring interactive darts and a shuffleboard table is set to open tonight in Stafford. 

The bar opens at noon and will also host games such as beer pong, pool, and table tennis. An extension upstairs featuring a nine-hole crazy golf course and bowling alley will be opening at the end of November.

Source: Staffordshire Live - 11th November-2022 

I visited The Empourium a little over three years since it opened. So I was curious by what was meant when the barman said they were let down. Surely they were able to find somebody else to install a wheelchair accessible toilet in the years since? Have they tried to install a disabled toilet recently, but something had got in the way? 

"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"

I messaged them on Facebook Messenger and they responded within minutes. They confirmed that they don't have disabled toilets. I enquired further and asked
"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"
"It is not a legal requirement no as it is an old building/structure." They replied.

I know this to be true if the building in question is a listed building. Grade 2 listed buildings are allowed to install disabled toilets, but it is not a straightforward process. There is something called the equality act which requires reasonable adjustments for disabled access, this does not override the legal protection of historic features, meaning any modifications must respect the building’s character. 

This building didn't look old enough to be listed however. For example, I know the Soup Kitchen is listed because to get into the building they had to get a portable ramp out from a cupboard, they told me they wanted to install a permanent structure but had been denied planning permission because it was a listed building.

I wasn't convinced this was a listed building so I checked it on historicengland.org.uk. As I suspected it wasn't listed. It's not even an historic building.

"Based on the available information, the Foregate Street Vintage Emporium in Stafford is listed as having accessible, disabled-friendly facilities. This typically implies the presence of accessible toilets to accommodate visitors with mobility needs, adhering to accessibility standards."

The above is the AI overview when entering the Google search"should the empourium in stafford have disabled toilets".

@fatpigeonsbook 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I realise that title may be a bit confusing when you read this post. Their wheelchair lift wasn't working at the time and their toilets were up five steps which I had to walk up...with help! Ok, maybe I should just tell the story as you're now thinking I'm just lazy and can actually walk fine.

What Happened...

It was just after three o'clock and we'd just finished Christmas festivities including lunch and secret santa at Headway. If you're wondering I got two MASSIVE bags of sweets - thanks, secret santa... whoever you are. A few of us decided we didn't want to go home yet and as we were in the vicinity of several pubs, it would be rude not to have a few festive Guinesses.

It was suggested we go to the Lamb but I soon torpedoed that idea as it's main entrance was up a large step. The side entrance had a portable ramp up to a door that was barely wide enough to fit my wheelchair through. I knew without going in that this was a pub that had done the bare minimum to tick the 'wheelchair accessible' box.

Hogarths

Tony suggested Hogarths as it had a sign outside that says wheelchair access. 

There is a small seating area to the left and the right when you enter and a wide staircase with five steps up to the rest of the pub -  notably the bar and the toilets - directly in front of you. It was a disabled toilet though so I looked around to see what their solution was for getting up to it. The solution was the wheelchair lift in the corner. It was one of those lifts that you roll onto, lower the arm, shut the gate and wait a few seconds for it to do the job of the stairs. 

I immediately untensed. 

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

I transferred from my wheelchair to a bench seat and proceeded to get 'merry'. Unfortunately, I'm a middle aged man and the effects of the Guinness hit me sooner than I expected. I got into my wheelchair and Kim helped me into the wheelchair lift. She was probably still experiencing PTSD from our coffee a few weeks previous. And I'm sure she wasn't surprised that I couldn't get the lift to work. Her natural assumption was that I was doing something wrong - which was highly likely. Try as she might, it wouldn't budge though. We called the manager over who couldn't get it working either. He said it was quite temperamental and in the new year he wanted to remove it in favour of a good ol' fashioned ramp. He was very apologetic and said 

"it's not going to work I'm afraid."

I looked at my not quite finished pint - I told you, I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. 

I don't like not finishing a pint and all that stood in my way was five steps.

"It's only a few steps, there's a bannister I can hold on to with my right hand. If you can support me on my left side, I think I can climb them."

"Sure no problem."

I wheeled over to the steps, grabbed the bannister and hauled myself up to standing and with my left arm being held walked up the five steps. I stood at the top waiting for my wheelchair to be put behind me with a smug grin on my face, like I'd just conquered Everest. 

TOILET watch 

The room was quite small. I say small, I interpret a bathroom as small if their isn't room to put my chair side on to the toilet. I appreciate this isn't something most other people would be concerned with. But it means I can retract one of my wheelchair arms and transfer easily onto the toilet. There wasn't enough room to do anything but roll up to the toilet and then roll backwards to return to the pub. It was a perfectly useable disabled toilet though. There were grab rails and the sink and hand dryer were at a suitable height. It was locked with a lock that could be opened by a radio key.

Hogarths 4/5: 

I used the facilities and then called the manager over to help me back down. I descended Everest and returned to the remains of my pint.

We remained here for the next four hours and I went to the loo after every pint. There were a couple of guys sat at the top of stairs who made it there job to help me... repeatedly. As you're aware I don't tend to walk nowadays and when I do I heavily lean on the person helping me. Considering I was getting drunker and drunker everytime I returned to climb Everest, I was probably leaning quite heavily on this stranger. He didn't seem to mind though and when he left told me any of the others will help me.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I liked it here and will go again. They treated me the same as any other paying customer not as a requirement they had to fulfil. The fact that they had acknowledged this was a problem, hoped to change it in the near future and actually thanked me for my understanding. This attitude is one that I don't always receive and too often I get a simple 'sorry'. 

Hogarths 4/5: 

The next drinking establishment I visited only had upstairs toilets. I had to go to a nearby establishment to use their disabled toilet.

More on that next time...

@fatpigeonsbook 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

Wheelchair Worries - That was supposed to be an 11 minute car ride...

£15 for a taxi!

I arranged with a friend to go round to her house for a coffee. It was going to cost fifteen pounds to make the eleven minute journey via taxi though, so I had the brain wave that I would take the bus instead. It wouldn't cost me anything and I could document it,

I'm sure that would make a fantastically thrilling post.

In case you didn't notice, that was said with sarcasm...

It was tipping it down with rain. The video doesn't quite show the extent of it, but trust me it was biblical...well, alright, it was raining a bit, but it meant I was going to get a lot wetter waiting for two busses than I would if I took a taxi, but I would have a nice hot coffee waiting for me at the end...hopefully.

It was lashing it down with rain (honestly, it was biblical), my trousers were soaked through and I'd only been waiting for fifteen minutes. I don't like being cold and wet so I decided to open up my taxi app, spend the fifteen pounds and look forward to having a mug of coffee in the very near future, and guess what?
Go on guess!
Yep, the bus emerged from around the corner. It offered immediate shelter from the rain and it saved me from spending fifteen pounds. Granted, it would take me into town, which was the exact opposite direction to Wildwood, and I would have to wait in the rain to catch a second bus, I was fairly sure I was going to regret this decision. 

*SPOILER ALERT* I DID REGRET IT

When we reached my stop, the bus driver lowered the ramp and - as he is familiar with my lack of capabilities when driving my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility) - he warned a person waiting in the bus shelter to mind her feet because the bus driver knew what I was like.

Should I be offended? Nah, it's harder to maim people who are already wary of you.

I shut my front door about thirty-five minutes ago, I was now even further away from my destination than when I started. I got to the bus stop to catch my second bus and I asked one of the people waiting if she could check the timetable for when my bus arrives.

Why do you have to be someone of a certain height with decent eye sight to read the bus timetable?

Even if I wasn't in a chair, my poor eye site means that I still would struggle to see it. What if there was nobody here to help me? I think the wheelchair user is an after thought - if a thought at all other than doing the minimal amount so that they can tick a box on a form. 

According to the timetable my bus was due in twenty minutes at 12:48 but the electronic board said 13:48. I'm sure this was an error but I'd arranged to be there at one o'clock. It was still raining (and remember, it was biblical) I was still cold, so I gave up and ordered a taxi.

Ah the predictability of stupidity

I booked a taxi on the app - the app that I always use - I followed my usual routine making sure I didn't put in my usual payment details as I normally use the taxi service to get to Headway. I paid with my debit card rather than the debit card that the council funds. I had arranged to be picked up from my usual location however - my house. I got  a text saying "your driver is outside". I looked up from my phone. Nothing. I looked up and down the road. Nothing. It then dawned on me. I phoned the taxi company and told them my mistake and told them where I actually was. That mistake cost me half of the fare on top of the original fare.

This is going well

• I'm cold
• I'm wet through
• I've had to order the taxi that I didn't want to pay for anyway
• I've ordered it for the wrong pickup point
• I've had to pay extra to rectify my balls up
• Oh and I'm late

I finally arrived at my friend's - Kim - house. The first hurdle to overcome was the inch high step up into her house. I had questioned this when we made the arrangement and her response was "ah, we'll manage, don't worry about it." In fact I had a number of worries that involved my wheelchair and her house. Her response was "we'll manage, don't worry about it." Although it soon became "WE'LL MANAGE!" I took this subtle hint to stop worrying about it. 

1. Issue 1
   

   She had a dining room chair for me to transfer onto. And while I lazed around watching, she got the wheelchair in. Well, she tried, but the wheelchair is quite heavy and quite awkward to move unless it's folded up. The taxi driver offered to help before he left. We now had a sliding puzzle to solve. The hall was quite small and we needed to get my trustee steed in and be able to shut the front door. Kim slid me over towards the stairs, the taxi driver lifted my trustee steed inside and to the left of the door and we were able to close the front door.
2. Issue 2
   We were in the hall. We needed to be in the living room, so Kim slid me close enough to my wheelchair so that I could transfer onto it. I had to then wheel into the living room, there slight problem however. There was a shoe rack by the living room door, so I couldn't fit the wheelchair through the door and  the shoe rack was far too heavy and big to move. So I had to get back into the chair and then Kim slid me across the living room floor so I was close enough to transfer to the sofa. My electric chair was still in the hall though, so Kim folded it up and dragged it into the living room.
3. Issue 3
   Kim went into the kitchen to make a hot chocolate with Bailey's. Yum! Yum! 😋 She came back with a fairly full mug so I lent forward to sip it but I was forgetting that I was wearing a cap. The peak of the cap touched the mug which made me recoil immediately and the contents of the mug spilt onto my jeans and onto the sofa. She got me a cloth. I cleaned up my jeans and the sofa as best I could and then I slid across with Kim's help to the other sofa. She has a Miniature Dachshund who wanted to join in with our 'game'. He excitedly jumped up, I recoiled as if the dog was trying to gnaw my face off and Kim fell onto the sofa almost spilling hot chocolate on t'other sofa 
   
   Again, this was going well!
   
   
4. Issue 4
   I needed to go to the toilet. So I slowly went from the living room into the kitchen making sure I didn't mark the skirting boards or the walls. I then had to go into the utility, which was through a perfectly wide doorway, although there were several plastic bags hanging off a door next to the doorway. So, because I'm an idiot I tried to creep through the doorway without touching the bags. I could have just moved the bugs but then only a person who WASN'T an idiot would think of that. I was too close to the side and knocked into the skirting board and part of it came off. But I was barely moving at all so I thought it must have already been loose. I asked him and she reassured me that it was.
   
   I went back into the living room afterwards and bashed into the television table, knocking a Christmas calendar onto the floor.
5. Issue 5
   I was ready to go home so I booked a taxi and when it was about 15 minutes away I announced I better go now because I needed help to get me out again. We did the starting puzzle in reverse this time but Kim was struggling to get the wheelchair out through the front door. Fortunately her next door neighbours mother-in-law who Kim had never met, saw that we were struggling and offered to come and help. She helped Kim get the wheelchair outside and then helped me down the step into the wheelchair.
6. Issue 6
   The skirting board wasn't already loose, I knocked it off. Kim knew that I would go into meltdown so she hid the truth from me.

So there we have it. That's how easy it is to go around to a friend's house for coffee. She hasn't invited me around since though. Strange 🤔

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

Wheelchair Worries - An Evening with John Cleese

"This was the reason I had done

a dry-run to Manchester a few weeks previous"

That dry-run hadn't gone fantastically well - I'd managed to get lost on a straight road. When I asked my brother to pick me up from Manchester Oxford Road Station on this occasion rather than meet at the venue, he answered "YES" before I even finished asking. He obviously wasn't keen on the idea of walking the streets of Manchester trying to find his idiot younnger brother

Heading to Manchester

Me and Daniel

I was attending Headway - they offer support for people who have had brain injuries - which is only about half a mile from the train station. I had to be there in time to catch the 16:03 train to Manchester Piccadilly to see an evening with John Cleese. Well not WITH, I don't know Mr Cleese personally, but as it's fifty years since Fawlty Towers first aired, he had booked a theatre where he would chat and answer questions from host Angelica Bell, as well as answering questions from the audience. I have always loved Fawlty Towers. My Mum and Dad had both series an VHS and I used to watch it over and over again, it's the first time I remember laughing over and over again at the same points, even though I knew what was coming. Plus Connie Booth was seriously hot!

Connie Booth

I got onto my trustee steed (iM.4 Elite), even though it was raining and I've already spoken about not driving in the rain! 

I broke my own rules on this occasion though and put up with it for the five minute journey.

Stafford Train Station

I arrived ridiculously early. The doors are very wide (basically, the entire front of the station opens) and automatic. A convenience that many establishments don't have. they quite often have heavy manual doors that open outwards that require the operator to be able bodied to use. The ground inside the station is as flat as humanly possible. Doors to shops inside are either open, or - as is the case with Starbucks - as automatic door.

Passenger Assistance

Special Assistance

I had booked special assistance on the phone and they informed me the ticket office was on the right, they also informed there is an app that enables you to book your train and any assistance you need all at the same time. Granted this is only the second time I have booked special assistance at Stafford Station, but the train operator - Avanti West Coast - make travelling completely stress and worry free. You are looked after and put onto the right train as if you are a six year old travelling for the first time. Actually, some people might find that a little patronising, so I should say that's my experience of them, however I understand that's very much because I give off the impression I'm a six year old travelling for the first time. The person behind the desk radioed for assistance, but as I was super early I decided to make use of the facilities first.

TOILET watch 

I asked the person behind the desk where the disabled toilet was and he said outside on the first platform...I imagined a tiny brick outhouse with just a swinging saloon door to offer privacy. What I got was a stand alone building that was behind a radar key lock. I unlocked the door, the whole room lit up and on the far side of the room about ten yards away was a toilet. The emergency pull cord that is usually by the toilet is by this entrance door...erm, what? Hang on! That's right, I did say that it's by the door! About ten yards from the toilet? Oh and the pull cord is tied up and out of reach unless you're about five feet tall, which - if you're unaware - I am not. I would say that rarely (if ever) has a disabled person who has fallen, been able to get up, walk ten yards and reach for the pull cord. The room was incredibly clean however and big enough to hold two or three toilets. There are retractable grab rails either side of the toilet and fresh toilet roll hung on the toilet roll holder. Unfortunately because the panic cord is out of reach, I can only rate this toilet

3/5: 

Upon my return I waited a few minutes and somebody came to meet me to take me to the correct platform. The train wouldn't arrive for ten minutes so he left me on the platform and would return with a ramp.

He returned just before the train arrived and set up the ramp to enable me to get on. Thanks to my previous dry run, I now knew that the corridor before I get to my seat is very narrow and continuously curves to the right, so I retract my foot rest before ascending the ramp so the wheelchair isn't as long and I have more space to manoeuvre. Unfortunately I then forgot to lift my feet when climbing the ramp. My feet hit the ramp and didn't move any further. The wheelchair gets to the ramp and doesn't stop. The result: My feet are pulled under the wheelchair. I immediately stop and reverse while the assistant is asking
"are you ok?"
"Yea fine" I reply in a high pitched tone trying to hide my absolute agony.
I get onto the train and am stationed opposite the luggage

During this journey to Manchester Piccadilly the train driver comes to see me to confirm I require assistance getting the connecting train from Manchester Picadilly to Manchester Oxford Road.

Network Rail

As I learnt on this journey, the train operator for Manchester Piccadilly is actually Network Rail. Avanti West Coast liaised with them and somebody is waiting for my train and deploys the ramp as soon as the door opens. It's all completely seamless, I assumed both stations were run by the same operator. I am taken on a brisk walk to the next platform and on the way a change of personnel occurs as the baton is handed over to another member of staff. We arrive at the platform for the connecting train with about ten minutes to spare. She waits with me and we have a good natter while we wait, this may seem quite a small thing to most and some people may just have waited with me in silence as all they were here to do was escort me.

In fact...

TRAIN ASSISTANCE watch 

This is only the second time I've booked assistance and I haven't had to make any difficult requests so far, all trains have been on time and I've done nothing but sit quietly while playing on my phone. I haven't even had to use the train toilet (something I hope will be a continued trend). The only slight difficulty I faced was on my previous dry run when I went to the toilet in between my transfer in Manchester, and rather than rush to get the connection the passenger assistant just booked me onto a slightly later train. The person assisting me engages me in small talk and stays with me and sets up the ramp onto the train. I can only rate both train operators 5/5...so far.

Avanti West Coast 5/5: 
Network Rail 5/5: 

I'm on the connecting train for about a minute. As the train stops at Manchester Oxford Road and the doors open I can hear the familiar clacking as the ramp is being clipped into position.

Arriving in Manchester

The train arrived pretty much on time at 17:23 which meant it was dark and although the rain wasn't heavy, it was enough to land on my glasses lens and make it harder to see. Take into account that I can't see very well in the dark anyway and I can only see through one of my lenses, I was grateful Daniel was waiting for me at the main entrance. It was much busier now than the last time I was here and it requires a lot of concentration and basically just staring at the ground in front of the wheelchair to make sure I don't run over anyone's feet or bang into their heels or the back of their legs.

We walked the short distance from the train station to where the car was parked. I was basically being guided by Daniel, I was staring at the ground in front of the wheelchair again. I was struggling to focus on anything. The headlights, street lights, traffic lights, lights in buildings etc meant my eyes were darting around and couldn't focus on one thing. It was the ultimate trust exercise as I would wait for Daniel to say "ok" so I knew when it was safe to cross the road.

The car was parked behind O'Connell's and there was plenty of time before the show started, so we stopped for a pint...or two.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

There is no denying O'Connell's is a nice bar. It was quite busy, there's nice decor inside with custom built open cupboards housing full bottles of whiskey/wine/spirits etc and glasses of various type and novelty lamps. There isn't a lot of floor space and fortunately one of the few tables that I was able to use was available. Many of the tables are tall with tall stools surrounding them. There generally isn't enough room between the tables. The surrounding road is cobbled and the entrance is in the middle of a concrete platform which is about 2 - 3 inches above the cobbled street. There was no ramp and nobody around to help, Daniel had to help me up the ledge, as the power from the wheels alone couldn't get me up.

O'Connell's 2/5: 

The Show Starts in Ten Minutes

Ooops. Daniel checked his watch and it was 18:50. The doors opened at 18:00, the show started at 19:00 and we were 11 minutes away. The iM4.Elite has a top speed of 4mph and the driver can't see very well. Daniel is barking instructions at me as if I'm a sheep dog. I cross at crossings when he says it's safe, I wait when he says it's not. We arrive five minutes after the show starts, I have driven all the way at top speed and I haven't maimed anyone. I'm an atrocious driver when my sight isn't hindered, so this was quite a feat.

Royal Albert Hall, Manchester

The Royal Albert Hall is a brilliant, accessible venue. Even though it's an hours train journey away, it's one of my preferred theatre destinations. Theatre's are generally old buildings and in some cases are listed buildings which prevents changes to the building.

"As we are a very old building we do have a lot of stairs, so we use a lift for wheelchair users..."

This was in the email I received when I booked the tickets. I greatly appreciate it when it's acknowledged that they are aware their hands are tied and they can only do the best they can with the hand that is dealt them. I'd imagine getting planning permission on the grade II listed building was a slow, frustrating process that had many bumps in the road.

We arrived - albeit late - showed our tickets, picked up my free copy of the Fawlty Towers book. It took a little time to be taken to the lift and even longer for the lift to arrive. I think I could have climbed the stairs in the time it took for the lift to arrive. The theatre is on two levels, the ground floor where everybody is sat on chairs and the second level which circles the stalls below. Everybody is sat on cushions on the raked steps or in the raked seating area. As we entered the theatre the usher pointed out there was a disabled toilet should I need it during the show. I said I didn't need it, which would prove to be not true as I needed it five minutes later. I was sat as far away from the toilet as is possible. We were late so the house lights were off, people were having to move so I could get to my seat. Those same people had to move again as I went to the loo. Oh, and again as I returned to my seat.

He was only on stage for an hour but it was good to find out exactly how the show came about. Nobody asked if John Cleese performed his own stunts. Surely he didn't give that car a thrashing with a tree branch on his own?

Unfortunately it takes about 20 minutes to return to the ground floor as there is quite a queue to use the lift, it's tiny and every time it descends it stops to have a fag break.

I got to Manchester Oxford to find that my train had been delayed, the special assistant came to find me though and informed me there was another train that changes at Stoke and would get me back before my original train. Once again the stress of the situation was taken off me and I was escorted to the new train. Unfortunately the train sat stationary for about 30 minutes and arrived at Stoke shortly before my original train wos uld have arrived in Stafford.

i

TRAIN ASSISTANCE watch 

I'm not sure who the train operator is at Stoke but this was by far the worst experience I've had. It was close to 11pm by the time I got to Stoke so I'm guessing anybody handles a special assistance request if it comes in. Somebody was waiting with the ramp. I descended the ramp and it became obvious that he wasn't going to offer any further assistance. I asked him what I do now and he pointed ahead and said "wait there." I wasn't quite sure where "there" was as Stoke appears to have 1 huge platform. After about 20 minutes of waiting I decided to ask somebody what do I do. A train had just pulled up which happened to be the train to Stafford. As I approached someone to ask them where my special assistance is, he asked me "do you want this train? It goes to Stafford." 

That was fortuitous I thought.

 Maybe I have been spoiled by the assistance I've received so far and maybe they were going to assist me, but I didn't give them the chance. 

 Stoke Train Assistance 2/5 

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook 

Wheelchair Worries - Special assistance when catching the train

 I remember reading about special assistance on a very handy little blog called...oh what was it...oh, I remember! wheelchairworries.com 😁 (https://www.wheelchairworries.com/2025/02/wheelchair-worries-social-prescribing.html?m=1)

John Cleese

I'm going to see an evening with John Cleese in November, in Manchester with my brother Daniel. He lives not far from Manchester and normally I would require him to travel down to Stafford to pick me up to take us/me to Manchester. It's a Tuesday evening though and he's one of these responsible adults with a job.

"I'll get the train" I said confidently, as at this point it was July and the evening in question was a long way in the future. It was easy to say I would do it without thinking about the fact I was actually going to have to  do it. Now it's in a couple of weeks and the thought of navigating the train station on my own made me apprehensive. I'm not the most confident bloke, but my trustee steed (iM4.Elite) is enabling me to get out of my comfort zone. So...

"I'll do a practice trip before the actual trip" I thought
"Because I'll probably cock it up"

And guess what? I was right.

I cocked it up!

Mind the gap

Let me explain. Again, I remember that there was this very handy little blog called...oh what was it...oh, I remember! wheelchairworries.com 😁 it mentions that you can purchase a Disabled Persons Railcard  (see post Wheelchair Worries - Social Prescribing. So I did, but it takes up to five days to process, so I thought I'd just do the journey without the card. I thought the only advantage of the railcard is that the ticket is cheaper. However, card or not, my dad informed me, I needed to tell the train company (Avanti) of my disability as they will need to provide a ramp to get onto the train.

Cock up number one.

Luckily my train was at 13:03 and the Trainline AI assistant told me I needed to give them a minimum of two hours notice. I called them on the morning of my trip and they arranged assistance telling me to go to the ticket office upon arrival.

My taxi got me there about 30 minutes early, the pessimist in me assumed something was going to go wrong and I wanted plenty of time to spare.
Surely this wasn't going to go smoothly? 
I went straight to the ticket office and informed them of my arrival.

Starbucks

I was told somebody would come to the ticket office and take me to the platform. I even had time to go and get a Starbucks. The lady didn't know what time I needed to be back for, but she wasn't too fussed if I was here or in Starbucks. I would usually be stressed about all the things I could cock up and wouldn't relax until I was on the train. And that relaxed mood would quickly evaporate when I started thinking about getting off this train and getting to my connecting train. 

I returned to the ticket office after I got my (iced) coffee. I was taken from the ticket office to the platform where the special assistance went to get a ramp and came back to help me onto the train.

This is already my favourite way to travel. Granted, my opinion will change when the infamous train delays affect me. But for now, it couldn't be going any better.

Getting onto the train wasn't particularly simple. The train is a good height above the platform and there is a decent sized gap between the platform and the train. I had my wheelchair on the lowest speed setting [PICTURE OF POWER] so as to reduce the speed of the impact when I inevitably run into the back of somebody - some might say I'm a bit of a liability - not the best driver. I disagree, I say I'm an excellent driver

A wheelchair users view

The ramp is quite steep but the iM.4 Elite is upto the task. I take an immediate left and then follow the corridor as it curves right to the carriage. It's incredibly tight. The corridor is barely wide enough to fit my wheelchair and I'd left the footrest down. A rookie mistake. It adds a couple of inches to the length which meant I was pinging off the walls like a pinball machine. The wheelchair space had luggage in it, but the passenger moved the luggage in question and I took up residence, opposite some more luggage. The driver came to see me to confirm I needed special assistance at Manchester Piccadilly. He told me to wait here when we reach my stop and somebody will set up a ramp, get me off the train and take me to the correct platform for my connecting train.

When I got off the train it was about 20 minutes till my connection to Oxford Road and the Starbucks had left me in need of the facilities.

Here was my first opportunity to cock it up 👍

It only took us about 5 minutes to get to the toilets and I only spent a minute or 2 using the facilities but we were going to miss the connection... Well, I don't see how we were definitely going to miss the connection, but there was no point rushing when the next train was an 8 minute wait. So the special assistance changed my booking to the next train on a different platform and took me to it. He made a call and phoned ahead to the next station and arranged assistance at the next station.

I kinda cocked it up, but an adult was around to sort it 😁

Have I mentioned that I love this completely stress free method of travelling?

I boarded the train and by the time I positioned myself in the disabled space, the train had pulled into Manchester Oxford Road and I could hear the ramp being clicked into place.

Here was my opporunity to cock it up, an opportunity I took full advantage of. According to Google Maps it was a ten minute walk from the station to the Albert Hall. I got to the street and the road I was on went in both directions and the text instructions said walk north-east...I didn't know which way North-East was and Google Maps didn't show what direction I was facing, but logic tells me that if the time it takes on Google Maps increases, I need to turn around. Well Google Maps wasn't updating, by the time it did it said I was 17 minutes away. Ok. So I turned around. It wasn't updating again. I asked a Traffic Warden but he didn't know as he'd just moved to Manchester. I went along this road for ages and I couldn't find it. I think this successfully illustrates my infamous sense of direction. I could well have passed it and not realised. 

It got to 15:30 and my train was leaving at 16:13 so I thought I'll head back now, even though I had forty minutes to spare, I wasn't confident I'd find it in time.

I got back to the train station with plenty of time to spare. As I entered the station somebody came over to ask me if I had booked special assistance. I hadn't, I'd neglected to book it for my return journey. He told me to wait for him at the platform and he would come and find me. He then arranged for somebody to meet me at Piccadilly and take me to my connecting train.

I love special assistance!

As I think is quite obvious from my posts on this blog, I am an idiot, and I quite frequently do idiotic things. Having special assistance means I have less opportunity to be an idiot, but when I do manage it, they are there.

I have told Daniel (brother) that he will need to pick me up from the train station though, I don't want to go all that way and then miss the show.

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook