Wheelchair Worries - An Evening with John Cleese

"This was the reason I had done

a dry-run to Manchester a few weeks previous"

That dry-run hadn't gone fantastically well - I'd managed to get lost on a straight road. When I asked my brother to pick me up from Manchester Oxford Road Station on this occasion rather than meet at the venue, he answered "YES" before I even finished asking. He obviously wasn't keen on the idea of walking the streets of Manchester trying to find his idiot younnger brother

Heading to Manchester

Me and Daniel

I was attending Headway - they offer support for people who have had brain injuries - which is only about half a mile from the train station. I had to be there in time to catch the 16:03 train to Manchester Piccadilly to see an evening with John Cleese. Well not WITH, I don't know Mr Cleese personally, but as it's fifty years since Fawlty Towers first aired, he had booked a theatre where he would chat and answer questions from host Angelica Bell, as well as answering questions from the audience. I have always loved Fawlty Towers. My Mum and Dad had both series an VHS and I used to watch it over and over again, it's the first time I remember laughing over and over again at the same points, even though I knew what was coming. Plus Connie Booth was seriously hot!

Connie Booth

I got onto my trustee steed (iM.4 Elite), even though it was raining and I've already spoken about not driving in the rain! 

I broke my own rules on this occasion though and put up with it for the five minute journey.

Stafford Train Station

I arrived ridiculously early. The doors are very wide (basically, the entire front of the station opens) and automatic. A convenience that many establishments don't have. they quite often have heavy manual doors that open outwards that require the operator to be able bodied to use. The ground inside the station is as flat as humanly possible. Doors to shops inside are either open, or - as is the case with Starbucks - as automatic door.

Passenger Assistance

Special Assistance

I had booked special assistance on the phone and they informed me the ticket office was on the right, they also informed there is an app that enables you to book your train and any assistance you need all at the same time. Granted this is only the second time I have booked special assistance at Stafford Station, but the train operator - Avanti West Coast - make travelling completely stress and worry free. You are looked after and put onto the right train as if you are a six year old travelling for the first time. Actually, some people might find that a little patronising, so I should say that's my experience of them, however I understand that's very much because I give off the impression I'm a six year old travelling for the first time. The person behind the desk radioed for assistance, but as I was super early I decided to make use of the facilities first.

TOILET watch 

I asked the person behind the desk where the disabled toilet was and he said outside on the first platform...I imagined a tiny brick outhouse with just a swinging saloon door to offer privacy. What I got was a stand alone building that was behind a radar key lock. I unlocked the door, the whole room lit up and on the far side of the room about ten yards away was a toilet. The emergency pull cord that is usually by the toilet is by this entrance door...erm, what? Hang on! That's right, I did say that it's by the door! About ten yards from the toilet? Oh and the pull cord is tied up and out of reach unless you're about five feet tall, which - if you're unaware - I am not. I would say that rarely (if ever) has a disabled person who has fallen, been able to get up, walk ten yards and reach for the pull cord. The room was incredibly clean however and big enough to hold two or three toilets. There are retractable grab rails either side of the toilet and fresh toilet roll hung on the toilet roll holder. Unfortunately because the panic cord is out of reach, I can only rate this toilet

3/5: 

Upon my return I waited a few minutes and somebody came to meet me to take me to the correct platform. The train wouldn't arrive for ten minutes so he left me on the platform and would return with a ramp.

He returned just before the train arrived and set up the ramp to enable me to get on. Thanks to my previous dry run, I now knew that the corridor before I get to my seat is very narrow and continuously curves to the right, so I retract my foot rest before ascending the ramp so the wheelchair isn't as long and I have more space to manoeuvre. Unfortunately I then forgot to lift my feet when climbing the ramp. My feet hit the ramp and didn't move any further. The wheelchair gets to the ramp and doesn't stop. The result: My feet are pulled under the wheelchair. I immediately stop and reverse while the assistant is asking
"are you ok?"
"Yea fine" I reply in a high pitched tone trying to hide my absolute agony.
I get onto the train and am stationed opposite the luggage

During this journey to Manchester Piccadilly the train driver comes to see me to confirm I require assistance getting the connecting train from Manchester Picadilly to Manchester Oxford Road.

Network Rail

As I learnt on this journey, the train operator for Manchester Piccadilly is actually Network Rail. Avanti West Coast liaised with them and somebody is waiting for my train and deploys the ramp as soon as the door opens. It's all completely seamless, I assumed both stations were run by the same operator. I am taken on a brisk walk to the next platform and on the way a change of personnel occurs as the baton is handed over to another member of staff. We arrive at the platform for the connecting train with about ten minutes to spare. She waits with me and we have a good natter while we wait, this may seem quite a small thing to most and some people may just have waited with me in silence as all they were here to do was escort me.

In fact...

TRAIN ASSISTANCE watch 

This is only the second time I've booked assistance and I haven't had to make any difficult requests so far, all trains have been on time and I've done nothing but sit quietly while playing on my phone. I haven't even had to use the train toilet (something I hope will be a continued trend). The only slight difficulty I faced was on my previous dry run when I went to the toilet in between my transfer in Manchester, and rather than rush to get the connection the passenger assistant just booked me onto a slightly later train. The person assisting me engages me in small talk and stays with me and sets up the ramp onto the train. I can only rate both train operators 5/5...so far.

Avanti West Coast 5/5: 
Network Rail 5/5: 

I'm on the connecting train for about a minute. As the train stops at Manchester Oxford Road and the doors open I can hear the familiar clacking as the ramp is being clipped into position.

Arriving in Manchester

The train arrived pretty much on time at 17:23 which meant it was dark and although the rain wasn't heavy, it was enough to land on my glasses lens and make it harder to see. Take into account that I can't see very well in the dark anyway and I can only see through one of my lenses, I was grateful Daniel was waiting for me at the main entrance. It was much busier now than the last time I was here and it requires a lot of concentration and basically just staring at the ground in front of the wheelchair to make sure I don't run over anyone's feet or bang into their heels or the back of their legs.

We walked the short distance from the train station to where the car was parked. I was basically being guided by Daniel, I was staring at the ground in front of the wheelchair again. I was struggling to focus on anything. The headlights, street lights, traffic lights, lights in buildings etc meant my eyes were darting around and couldn't focus on one thing. It was the ultimate trust exercise as I would wait for Daniel to say "ok" so I knew when it was safe to cross the road.

The car was parked behind O'Connell's and there was plenty of time before the show started, so we stopped for a pint...or two.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

There is no denying O'Connell's is a nice bar. It was quite busy, there's nice decor inside with custom built open cupboards housing full bottles of whiskey/wine/spirits etc and glasses of various type and novelty lamps. There isn't a lot of floor space and fortunately one of the few tables that I was able to use was available. Many of the tables are tall with tall stools surrounding them. There generally isn't enough room between the tables. The surrounding road is cobbled and the entrance is in the middle of a concrete platform which is about 2 - 3 inches above the cobbled street. There was no ramp and nobody around to help, Daniel had to help me up the ledge, as the power from the wheels alone couldn't get me up.

O'Connell's 2/5: 

The Show Starts in Ten Minutes

Ooops. Daniel checked his watch and it was 18:50. The doors opened at 18:00, the show started at 19:00 and we were 11 minutes away. The iM4.Elite has a top speed of 4mph and the driver can't see very well. Daniel is barking instructions at me as if I'm a sheep dog. I cross at crossings when he says it's safe, I wait when he says it's not. We arrive five minutes after the show starts, I have driven all the way at top speed and I haven't maimed anyone. I'm an atrocious driver when my sight isn't hindered, so this was quite a feat.

Royal Albert Hall, Manchester

The Royal Albert Hall is a brilliant, accessible venue. Even though it's an hours train journey away, it's one of my preferred theatre destinations. Theatre's are generally old buildings and in some cases are listed buildings which prevents changes to the building.

"As we are a very old building we do have a lot of stairs, so we use a lift for wheelchair users..."

This was in the email I received when I booked the tickets. I greatly appreciate it when it's acknowledged that they are aware their hands are tied and they can only do the best they can with the hand that is dealt them. I'd imagine getting planning permission on the grade II listed building was a slow, frustrating process that had many bumps in the road.

We arrived - albeit late - showed our tickets, picked up my free copy of the Fawlty Towers book. It took a little time to be taken to the lift and even longer for the lift to arrive. I think I could have climbed the stairs in the time it took for the lift to arrive. The theatre is on two levels, the ground floor where everybody is sat on chairs and the second level which circles the stalls below. Everybody is sat on cushions on the raked steps or in the raked seating area. As we entered the theatre the usher pointed out there was a disabled toilet should I need it during the show. I said I didn't need it, which would prove to be not true as I needed it five minutes later. I was sat as far away from the toilet as is possible. We were late so the house lights were off, people were having to move so I could get to my seat. Those same people had to move again as I went to the loo. Oh, and again as I returned to my seat.

He was only on stage for an hour but it was good to find out exactly how the show came about. Nobody asked if John Cleese performed his own stunts. Surely he didn't give that car a thrashing with a tree branch on his own?

Unfortunately it takes about 20 minutes to return to the ground floor as there is quite a queue to use the lift, it's tiny and every time it descends it stops to have a fag break.

I got to Manchester Oxford to find that my train had been delayed, the special assistant came to find me though and informed me there was another train that changes at Stoke and would get me back before my original train. Once again the stress of the situation was taken off me and I was escorted to the new train. Unfortunately the train sat stationary for about 30 minutes and arrived at Stoke shortly before my original train wos uld have arrived in Stafford.

i

TRAIN ASSISTANCE watch 

I'm not sure who the train operator is at Stoke but this was by far the worst experience I've had. It was close to 11pm by the time I got to Stoke so I'm guessing anybody handles a special assistance request if it comes in. Somebody was waiting with the ramp. I descended the ramp and it became obvious that he wasn't going to offer any further assistance. I asked him what I do now and he pointed ahead and said "wait there." I wasn't quite sure where "there" was as Stoke appears to have 1 huge platform. After about 20 minutes of waiting I decided to ask somebody what do I do. A train had just pulled up which happened to be the train to Stafford. As I approached someone to ask them where my special assistance is, he asked me "do you want this train? It goes to Stafford." 

That was fortuitous I thought.

 Maybe I have been spoiled by the assistance I've received so far and maybe they were going to assist me, but I didn't give them the chance. 

 Stoke Train Assistance 2/5