I'm going to see an evening with John Cleese in November, in Manchester with my brother Daniel. He lives not far from Manchester and normally I would require him to travel down to Stafford to pick me up to take us/me to Manchester. It's a Tuesday evening though and he's one of these responsible adults with a job.
"I'll get the train" I said confidently, as at this point it was July and the evening in question was a long way in the future. It was easy to say I would do it without thinking about the fact I was actually going to have to do it. Now it's in a couple of weeks and the thought of navigating the train station on my own made me apprehensive. I'm not the most confident bloke, but my trustee steed (iM4.Elite) is enabling me to get out of my comfort zone. So...
"I'll do a practice trip before the actual trip" I thought "Because I'll probably cock it up"
And guess what? I was right.
I cocked it up!
Mind the gap
Let me explain. Again, I remember that there was this very handy little blog called...oh what was it...oh, I remember! wheelchairworries.com 😁 it mentions that you can purchase a Disabled Persons Railcard (see post Wheelchair Worries - Social Prescribing. So I did, but it takes up to five days to process, so I thought I'd just do the journey without the card. I thought the only advantage of the railcard is that the ticket is cheaper. However, card or not, my dad informed me, I needed to tell the train company (Avanti) of my disability as they will need to provide a ramp to get onto the train.
Cock up number one.
Luckily my train was at 13:03 and the Trainline AI assistant told me I needed to give them a minimum of two hours notice. I called them on the morning of my trip and they arranged assistance telling me to go to the ticket office upon arrival.
My taxi got me there about 30 minutes early, the pessimist in me assumed something was going to go wrong and I wanted plenty of time to spare. Surely this wasn't going to go smoothly? I went straight to the ticket office and informed them of my arrival.
Starbucks
I was told somebody would come to the ticket office and take me to the platform. I even had time to go and get a Starbucks. The lady didn't know what time I needed to be back for, but she wasn't too fussed if I was here or in Starbucks. I would usually be stressed about all the things I could cock up and wouldn't relax until I was on the train. And that relaxed mood would quickly evaporate when I started thinking about getting off this train and getting to my connecting train.
I returned to the ticket office after I got my (iced) coffee. I was taken from the ticket office to the platform where the special assistance went to get a ramp and came back to help me onto the train.
This is already my favourite way to travel. Granted, my opinion will change when the infamous train delays affect me. But for now, it couldn't be going any better.
Getting onto the train wasn't particularly simple. The train is a good height above the platform and there is a decent sized gap between the platform and the train. I had my wheelchair on the lowest speed setting [PICTURE OF POWER] so as to reduce the speed of the impact when I inevitably run into the back of somebody - some might say I'm a bit of a liability - not the best driver. I disagree, I say I'm an excellent driver
A wheelchair users view
The ramp is quite steep but the iM.4 Elite is upto the task. I take an immediate left and then follow the corridor as it curves right to the carriage. It's incredibly tight. The corridor is barely wide enough to fit my wheelchair and I'd left the footrest down. A rookie mistake. It adds a couple of inches to the length which meant I was pinging off the walls like a pinball machine. The wheelchair space had luggage in it, but the passenger moved the luggage in question and I took up residence, opposite some more luggage. The driver came to see me to confirm I needed special assistance at Manchester Piccadilly. He told me to wait here when we reach my stop and somebody will set up a ramp, get me off the train and take me to the correct platform for my connecting train.
When I got off the train it was about 20 minutes till my connection to Oxford Road and the Starbucks had left me in need of the facilities.
Here was my first opportunity to cock it up 👍
It only took us about 5 minutes to get to the toilets and I only spent a minute or 2 using the facilities but we were going to miss the connection... Well, I don't see how we were definitely going to miss the connection, but there was no point rushing when the next train was an 8 minute wait. So the special assistance changed my booking to the next train on a different platform and took me to it. He made a call and phoned ahead to the next station and arranged assistance at the next station.
I kinda cocked it up, but an adult was around to sort it 😁
Have I mentioned that I love thiscompletely stress free method of travelling?
I boarded the train and by the time I positioned myself in the disabled space, the train had pulled into Manchester Oxford Road and I could hear the ramp being clicked into place.
Here was my opporunity to cock it up,an opportunity I took full advantage of. According to Google Maps it was a ten minute walk from the station to the Albert Hall. I got to the street and the road I was on went in both directions and the text instructions said walk north-east...I didn't know which way North-East was and Google Maps didn't show what direction I was facing, but logic tells me that if the time it takes on Google Maps increases, I need to turn around. Well Google Maps wasn't updating, by the time it did it said I was 17 minutes away. Ok. So I turned around. It wasn't updating again. I asked a Traffic Warden but he didn't know as he'd just moved to Manchester. I went along this road for ages and I couldn't find it. I think this successfully illustrates my infamous sense of direction. I could well have passed it and not realised.
It got to 15:30 and my train was leaving at 16:13 so I thought I'll head back now, even though I had forty minutes to spare, I wasn't confident I'd find it in time.
I got back to the train station with plenty of time to spare. As I entered the station somebody came over to ask me if I had booked special assistance. I hadn't, I'd neglected to book it for my return journey. He told me to wait for him at the platform and he would come and find me. He then arranged for somebody to meet me at Piccadilly and take me to my connecting train.
I love special assistance!
As I think is quite obvious from my posts on this blog, I am an idiot, and I quite frequently do idiotic things. Having special assistance means I have less opportunity to be an idiot, but when I do manage it, they are there.
I have told Daniel (brother) that he will need to pick me up from the train station though, I don't want to go all that way and then miss the show.
I was in a large business complex recently and the fire alarm went off. It stopped after about fifteen seconds. It's just a false alarm I thought, but then it started again about thirty seconds later. Fire alarms are bloody loud! I mean inconveniently so, I was there for some relaxation, but there was nothing relaxing about this noise! We went to the lift area where there are fire instructions so we assumed this was where we should gather. Another person from another of the many businesses that reside here, gathered here as well. We were puzzled as to what was going on, but I thought I should read the fire instructions to find out what I should do because I wasn't quite sure. First of all there was a floor plan of the building. The fire instructions said I should gather at assembly point 5 or 8, so I referred to the floor plan which seemed to indicate the fire exits are down the stairs!?!
I don't think I need to point out
to you that I find stairs quite tricky and not very wheelchair friendly
According to the fire instructions, I can't use the lifts either. It warns you in red letters.
Do not use lifts
Erm, hello!? Person in a wheelchair who would rather not stay in the burning building. Clearly it's too dangerous to spend five seconds in the completely safe lift, so we'll keep me stranded on the 1st floor. <--that was said with sarcasm
Fire instructions
I was left on my own while the able bodied folk wandered off to find somebody to help. I was left on my own for around ten minutes with the soundtrack of the blaring alarm, and then it suddenly stopped.
The able bodied search party returned, it had taken a while for them to find somebody. When they did it appeared to be a false alarm as this security guard confirmed there was a fault in a far away section of the building. I found this to be quite comforting, I would rather it be wrong and cause me some inconvenience. However, when asked how a wheelchair user vacates the building in the case of a fire, he sheepishly said "dunno".
There was no clear plan for the people who rely on a wheelchair to get around. The instructions simply say:assisst disabled persons to evacuate to a place of safety. What exactly does this mean? Some people can't get out of their wheelchair. I (for example) can get out of my chair and can support my own weight, but I can't move quickly. The brief instructions for the disabled folk is the same blatant disregard I have experienced time and time again. The majority are able bodied, so we'll attend to their needs.
You can get special chairs that can navigate stairs. The most practical and affordable is one like the one pictured. It is just a basic chair with two bars with grips on the front and the back, that can be carried by two people. These aren't very expensive, retailing for around £100-£150, but is this extra cost necessary? Below is a video from a building I regularly frequent and in the case of fire anywhere in the building this would be shut down. It is a disabled lift. It's purpose is for those unable to use stairs, to get to the first floor of the building. It operates for around five seconds. It's not going to be used by hoards of panicking people, scrambling to get out of the building, it would be considerably quicker to use the stairs. It's only purpose would be to allow the disabled to get out.
When I was about 16 I had a job as a cleaner, I was asked to make a cup of tea...and, um. I didn't know how. I'd never made it as I didn't drink it, which led me to a sudden desire to have a cup of *drum roll*, coffee...I thought coffee would be more grown up, and I wanted to be all growed up 'n' that. It tasted like Satan had relieved himself into my mug. I also burnt my mouth. I was probably not as cautious as I should have been as I'm used to drinks that don't cause me 3rd degree burns when consuming them, so I took to big a gulp.
Ever since I have been of the opinion that anybody who drinks hot drinks is a mentalist.
As a man in his 40s now, I thought I'd give it a go again. Not drinking tea/coffee was giving me FOMO as people always seem to be going for a coffee and a natter or it provides a topic of conversation that I can't join in on.
Starbucks
A friend of mine always goes to the Starbucks drive thru and recommended I try a medium caramel, de-caffenated (as she knows I'm a weakling that will likely spontaneously combust if I have caffeine) with coconut milk.
I saw this as an opportunity to review a few of the coffee shops around Stafford. By review I mean I would look at the few minor things that affected me. I decided I would try 3 of them; Starbucks, Cafe Nero and Coffee #1. I got onto my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility)to try Starbucks first.
Well, it didn't start well. The door is manual, the door is heavy. I had to pull it towards me whilst moving backwards in my wheelchair, something that is a struggle, unless a kind person see's my struggle and comes to help me. The actual shop floor is slightly higher than the entrance, but there is an easy to navigate ramp. At least they've considered accessibillity when you get inside at least.
Next was ordering a coffee.
The counter was extremely high, if you were around five foot I'd imagine you'd be straining to see over. My sitting height is considerably under five foot, so I sat there unnoticed until another customer appeared that could be seen over the counter, and the server then noticed I was waiting. I gave my order - reading the order I'd been given word for word, hoping I wasn't being hazed.
"This might have been the
coffee equivalent of telling
an apprentice to go shopping
for tartan paint"
The payment point was out of my reach and was stuck down, so it couldn't be handed to me. I handed my card over and the server had to pay for me.
The verdict *shrugs shoulders* meh...It was ok I suppose. It didn't burn my face hole, which I always find encouraging, but it didn't taste particularly cofee-ee. Granted, I don't really know what it should taste like, but I am an absolute chocaholic and my favourite chocolate is Thorntons dark chocolate Coffee Cream. This didn't taste remotely like that. So I'm concluding it's not really coffee. Maybe it was because it was de-caffeineted. Or, maybe it was the coconut milk.
Tick the box
While I was here I used Starbucks' toilets. Actually just before I talk about that, I want to mention/moan about; I was at an Indian Restaurant reecently and they said they were wheelchair accessible.
They weren't.
There were several red flags to these claims, but they were issues that could be kind of justified. Some people feel wheelchair accessible is just a box that needs ticking. Convenience or comfort aren't considered, they are only interested in ticking the box. However, there was no disabled loo. This is more than a red flag. In my opinion this would mean the restaurant isn't wheelchair accessible, but they might argue that the lack of a toilet doesn't stop me accessing it, so... In other words, we've ticked the box, stop moaning.
I wish people would be honest about the restrictions rather than just saying "yes". They may have got my money on that occasion but I won't return.
Anyway Starbucks did have a disabled toilet. The door was left partially open so there was no door handle to navigate - not an issue for me but that may be a difficulty for others. The room was plenty big enough to put my wheelchair side on in front of the toilet, retract the arm and transfer on to the loo.
I have been in many disabled toilets that are barely wide enough to fit the wheelchair in at all, let alone put it side on and retract the arm.
I left Starbucks with the intention of heading for Cafe Nero but I got side tracked as I neared Masovia Craft Bakery. I remembered seeing a post on The Staffordshire Spotter promoting the bakery and the pictures looked amazing, I just had to try out the cakes. Oh and they served coffee. I mustn't forget the coffee, that is the purpose of this reconnaissance mission. I headed in to order a piece of Black Forest gateau. Oh and I tried a cappuccino aswell.
*Note to self: must not forget I'm here for coffee*
What arrived... Holy Shirt Balls! A slab of cake almost as big as the plate it was on arrived. It was as tall as the accompanying cappuccino. How was the accompanying cappucino I hear you ask?
meh...It was ok I suppose.
But the cake! I remember Black Forest gateau when I was a kid and nothing comes close to my memory. It had real cherry's and thick cream on top. the chocolate sponge, unmistakenly, tasted of chocolate. This cake meant that I didn't have to rely on my memories of this long lost gem.
I wasn't understanding this obsession with coffee though. Cappucino at least tasted more like coffee than the one I ordered in Starbucks and I hadn't burned my face hole again. Maybe this achievement answers the question "am I grown up?"
Yes, yes I am..
The doors into the bakery were open, so I didn't have a similar issue getting in, but I did notice that the doors open outward and were similar to the glass door at Starbucks. The bakery itself is quite large, but there isn't much floorspace. A lot of the space is taken by the counter and displays of cakes, breads, doughnuts etc. To the right of the counter there are a series of tables stretching the length of the shop, each with 3 chairs surrounding them. I didn't see any toilets, I suspect they were at the top of the shop where the walkway narrowed and I'm not sure the wheelchair could fit.
Next up was Cafe Nero. Guess what? I was presented with a heavy glass door that opens outwards. Guess what else? I struggled to open it and relied on the shop assistant to help me out. I ordered a cappucino again but this time with a sprinkling of Cinnamon. The paying point was out of my reach again, but it could be detached from its holder and handed down to me. How was the cappucino I hear you ask?
meh...It was ok I suppose.
The cinnamon gave it a nice taste at first but it still didn't make the cappucino a favourite of mine.
The final stop would be Coffee Number 1. I came across Coffee Number 1 when I went to hear Charlotte Faulconbridge on her book tour for her book 'Too High To Function". It's about dealing with visible and hidden disabilities, which she speaks about with a lifetime of experience in one form another.
The coffee shop always stuck in my mind because it reminded me of Central Perk in Friends. There were tables and chairs but there was also a couch and arm chairs and acres of space. There was lots of floor space and masses of room between tables, so I presumed there was a decent level of privacy from prying ears.
Coffe Number 1 isn't part of a chain, it's an independent coffee shop. Unfortunately it too had the industry standard anti wheelchair doors. But once inside there is acres of room, it's very quiet, the atmosphere is very serene, it gives off pleasent vibes straight away. There is music playing, but it's background music, allowing you to have quiet conversations. There are a great selection of cakes, the payment point is low enough for me to use and I wasn't kept waiting until I was spotted. I ordered a piece of caramel shortbread to accompany my cappucino. I'm still not convinced by cappucino, but then I'm not convinced by coffee at all, the promise of cakes is what will keep me coming. It was probably my favourite cappucino so far, there was quiite a lot of froth on the top which suits me fine, it doesn't taste of coffee.
Out of the four coffee shops I think this is my favourite. Once I'd navigated the doors, I enjoyed every aspect of it. Mainly the large amount of floor space and the fact the tables were quite far apart.
I came back a few days later with a friend. No more FOMO for me! This boy is all grown up. Granted I had hot chocolate instead of coffee and the lemon drizzle cake might have made it more appealing, but swings and roundabouts.
While the weather has been good, I've been getting the bus back from Headway the two times a week I attend. As the weather gets colder and wetter I'm less and less enthusiastic about standing under a bus shelter. But while the sun is out I'll give my disabled bus pass an airing.
Things have changed since I last took the bus. I would say it was about 2002. I think the buss route was called "University Hospital". We had a Queen, Will Young had recently pipped Gareth Gates to the Pop Idol crown. David Beckham's foot was front page news as there were fears we couldn't win the World Cup without him and Arsenal were the current Premier League champions. It was an Arriva bus, there were 2 busses running simultaneously - in opposite directions - so they would pass each other and would arrive every ten minutes.
Buspass
America still had a BUFFOON in charge though, so there is some symmetry.
Select Bus Services now control this route and the bus comes every twenty minutes, but apart from that, everything else is much the same. Apart from the bus is red...or white...or red again but with leather or plastic seats, but apart from that, everything else is much the same. Oh yea the route is different and it's now labelled "Highfields" instead of "University Hospital".
Why do things have to change? Yet another thing that was better when I was younger. I was at the hospital recently and just assumed I could get the bus back, I asked reception where I could catch the number 9 bus from and I was told it doesn't go the hospital.
The drivers are very pleasent, there's a real close community vibe, some of the passengers know the driver and vice versa. It's like something out of Gavin & Stacey;
"Alright Jean? Just been down the shops?" Says the bus driver. "Yea, back home now for a cuppa."
People are chatting to the driver from there seats. Again something that has changed from when I was younger, I don't think I ever saw the driver conversing with anyone.
Maybe not EVERYTHING was better when I was younger.
In general there drivers are nice and friendly, but inevitably there are times when the bus I'm waiting for already has a wheelchair user on and I have to wait another 20 minutes for the next bus and hope I'm not made to wait again. The first time this happened there were several of us waiting at the bus stop. A lad kindly told me to go in front of him but I said he should go first because they'll have to get the ramp out. He got on the bus and I heard the driver say to him
”We've already got ONE on."
The driver didn't move from his seat. He didn't even tell me, he told the person who briefly spoke to me when the bus arrived. The passenger looked back at me and I gave him a smile and a thumbs up to acknowlege I'd heard. The driver let the rest on, shut the doors and left. I was fuming. I've never been referred to as a collective before. I felt like an unimportant object. He treated me with such unimportance that I got straight on my phone and put a post on Facebook.
I bet he'll think twice before he does that again!
In fairness, this driver has been on duty a few times since and he's perfectly nice. He even asked me where I would be getting off so he could get the ramp ready for me.
This happened again some weeks later as there is only room for one wheelchair passenger. On this occasion I was the only person at the bus stop, so when the doors opened the driver said "I'm sorry but there's already one wheelchair on board and there's only room for one. I'm afraid you'll have to wait for the next bus, but it shouldn't be too long." Fine I thought. I'm well aware there's limited room and at least the driver acknowleged me and apologised for the inconvenience.
Unfortunately as I said in a previous post - https://www.wheelchairworries.com/2021/08/wheelchair-seats-sure-theyre-right-at.html - wheelchair access is often an after thought, and is nothing more than a box they need to tick. There is no consideration for practicallity and usability. All of the busses I have got on are incredibly narrow and there is barely enough room to manoeuvre the wheelchair. There is always an area at the front of the bus to store thangs like push chairs, which is of course a necessity, but does it have to be so wide. Couldn't some of that space be used as floor space? Whatever is stored in there is folded up and rattles around as the bus moves, so it is already too big for what it's storing.
That was my first thought when I went to the toilet and the toilet bowl looked like somebody had been murdered. I wasn't in any pain so I contemplated ignoring it, but this wasn't a bit of blood, it was enough for a small blood transfusion. The absence of pain meant that I couldn't call 999. It was late afternoon so there was no point phoning the doctors surgery as they would just tell me to call tomorrow at 8am when they have appointments available. I gave 111 a go and they were great, they asked me a few questions and made an immediate appointment for me at the hospital.
So I booked a taxi, bundled my trusty steed (iM.4 Elite wheelchair) in the boot, picked up my Mum and headed to the hospital.
I used Westside Taxis who I use several times a week. They've always been great with me, as I've said in a previous post the iM.4 Elite isn't the lightest chair but isn't so heavy it can't be lifted and stored in the car boot, allowing me to travel around. As long as you have kind and obliging people to help you.
An appointment had been made for me at the urology department allowing me to bypass the few hours I would have spent waiting in A&E. The urology department was completely empty and I was seen straight away. I had to give a sample on my arrival, which considering the total privacy I had, was one of the more dignified experiences during this whole process. I was then called in to see the consultant and - as this is a hospital I had flat floors, incredibly wide corridors even some of the doors are widened. Nobody was here, there were no stretched out legs to navigate and no obstacles, which as you'll know from previous posts, I am to driving what Stevie Wonder is to arts and crafts.
I enjoy speeding around hospitals, it's almost like they're designed so it's easy to move around.
Upon testing the sample I'd provided, the consultant wanted me to go to the A&E in Stoke. He wasn't overly concerned and didn't bundle me stright into an ambulance. He didn't hold the test tube upto the light, sigh, slap me on the back and say "good luck". He didn't recoil in suprise at the blood red "urine" sample I'd given him and ask "HOLY SH*T, WHAT'S THAT?" So I wasn't too worried, but he was insistent that I went to A&E.
I bundled my trustee steed into another taxi and made my way to A&E. Stoke A&E is vast. There is a massive reception desk with several stations for many receptionists. There are different areas to wait in depending on your injury/illness. There is plenty of room everywhere and it's quite enjoyable to zoom around. I think people questioned how poorly I really was as I clearly wasn't in any discomfort and was more interested in taking advantage of this ideal motorised wheelchair environment. I was called into triage within minutes, it was confirmed what I was in for and I would need to wait for several hours to be seen.
Yes I was in a hospital and yes there was some issue with my insides, but because of the iM.4 Elite I had independence, granted, my Mum was with me, but let's not focus on that.
A few hours went by and I was called in to see the doctor. It took all of fifteen minutes. He had a feel and a prod of my stomach and once he'd determined I wasn't in any pain, went off to speak to another consultant to determine the next course of action. He returned to say they wanted to do a CT Scan to see exactly what was going on.
A swell guy
Now, I could moan about how it had taken several hours and 2 taxi trips which weren't exactly cheap just to tell me I needed a scan. I'm not going to do that though because I'm a swell guy... and this whole process had actually shown me with the aid of my trustee steed I was far more independent than I realised. If this had happened a few months earlier I couldn't have done anything about it as my dad was in Scotland at this time and I would have needed him to get to a hospital.
Nowadays if I start pissing blood I can at least get to a hospital on my own. Sort of.
About a week went by and I was summoned to Stafford County hospital for a CT Scan. I called upon Westside taxis again, bundled my trustee steed into the boot and made my way to the hospital, again!
This was my first CT scan and much more pleasent than an MRI scan. A CT scan doesn't require you to wear ear defenders that have no affect on the volume of the cacophony of noise the scanner is making. I wasn't cocooned in a metal tube, I wasn't given a panic button incase I got claustrophobic. A nurse didn't stop the scan half way through to inject me with something.
The scan took about 20 minutes and I didn't want to fork out for another taxi, so I used my trusty 'dad' card and got him to pick me up.
My Journey from Headway to hospital
Next, I had an appointment at the hospital again for a 'fibre optic examination of the bladder'. Now I'm not great at medical jargon, but I was fairly sure that meant they would investigate further with a camera. I was also sure of how they were going to get access to the bladder, and, well I consider that an exit, not an entrance thank you! I got the impression they didn't share my views though. I happened to be attending Headway brain injury clinic that day, so I made my own way up to the hospital. Headway was halfway there so I only had another 1.9 miles to go. It would take quite a long time to get there, but that was something I was getting used to now. I arrived for my appointment and was immediately taken into a side room where a nurse assisted me with shedding all my clothes and putting on a hospital gown. This is a process I tend to conduct in privacy as it requires all kinds of wiggling and contortionism. It's certainly not recommended in a tiny room that's little bigger than a stock cupboard.
Nice wide doors though, I can't fault the door width.
The floors were nice and smooth again and there was acres of space. Although I didn't feel like zooming around anymore.
I was called in to a decent sized room with 5 people in. There was enough space that we weren't tripping over each other, but we were in quite close proximity. Let's not forget one of us was in a hospital gown as well, a gown that was only secured by the full weight of my arse while I was sitting in the wheelchair.
Again, good wide doors though. I couldn't fault the door width.
One of the people was clearly the consultant and I'm guessing the other 4 were students. The consultant had my CT Scan on display as I walked in. The CT scan at the top of this post is the best I could achieve using 3rd party software, but I couldn't replicate the x-ray that was on display. The scan that was showing when I entered the room showed the full extent of the issue - 4 kidney stones. One of them was a whopper - 1.6cm.
"You've got 4 kidney stones, 2 in each kidney." the consultant enquired.
"Fair enough" I thought as I started to turn around to go straight back out hoping he wouldn't want to stick a camera in me.
"Even though we know you have kidney stones, we should just look with a camera to check there's nothing else there." Bugger!
"Have you had some previous surgery?" The consultant enquired.
The cable that is connected to the shunt in my skull was coiled up like a sleeping snake in my stomach. Any fluid that collects around my brain is sent down this tube where it releases. Now, I'm no genius but this cable was about the height of me, but was only needed for the top half of the body.
Am I the only human that's not biodigradable?
I transferred onto the bed with the help of 2 nurses. As I had got out of my wheelchair the gown was no longer secured, fortunately my modesty was covered. Until I lay on the bed and was instructed to bend my legs at the knees creating an arch. Unfortunately, a nurse had positioned herself at the foot of the bed. Surely she knew what view she was going to be subjected to? I believe she quit with immediate effect and now works in finance.
Report Urgency: no alert Verified: verified by Clark Alexander 22 May 2025
Three-phase CT urogram
Right kidney lower pole 0.8 cm 1100 HU non-obstructing calculus. Right kidney pelvis 0.8 cm 1200 non-obstructing calculus. Minuscule non-obstructing calculus in the lower pole on the right. Left upper pole 0.9 cm 960 HU non-obstructing calculus. Left kidney pelvis 1.6 cm 1600 HU non-obstructing calculus. Left lower pole 0.4 cm diameter non-obstructing calculus. On the delayed phase no upper tract urothelial lesion seen.
Other findings;
Uncomplicated-looking VP shunt or similar. This probably accounts for the shallow peritoneal liquid.
Moderate faecal loading throughout the colon. Several tiny bilateral kidney cysts.
Chronic bilateral L5 pars defects. Mild thoracolumbar scoliosis. Bone density is little on the low side considering the age. Right-sided dynamic hip screw.
I got off the bed and back into my wheelchair thus securing the gown again by sitting on it. I apologised to the nurse who had stood at the end of the bed but she couldn't hear me over her hysterical crying. I went back into the stock cupboard accompanied by a nurse to get dressed. I assured him I could do this on my own, he responded by saying he's not allowed to leave me on my own in case I have an accident.
Now people like to say the phrase "it's health & safety gone mad" I say "whoever came up with this idea of Health & Safety for every day tasks was a perv."
Nice wide doors though, I can't fault the door width.
I returned for my procedure a few weeks later. I had opted for keyhole laser surgery. They would go in get the 2 stones next to each other (there are 2 stones in each kidney) and obliterate them. Depending on the location of the stones, they may need to fit a temporary stent. 3 out of 5 people experience pain or discomfort. *Spoiler alert* I had a stent. I did experience pain. It would last for about 3 seconds when I passed water (which is constant - your bladder holds as much water as a sock). It was like a stomach ache that would rapidly increase and have me closing my eyes and wincing, but then it was gone. I don't know if that puts me in the 3 of 5 category or the 2 of 5, but it's not anything to write about...
I didn't think too much about this procedure as I thought "I've been in hospital before, for a whole year, I can manage 1 night!" And I was right, but what I had forgotten about was the loss of dignity, although on this occasion I wasn't completely helpless and could move.
I had a few weeks back at home, knowing that I had an appointment to have the stent removed. This would be a 20 minute procedure under local anaesthetic. I should have been enthused that they felt this procedure wasn't intrusive enough for a general anaesthetic, but I was focused on the fact that they put me to sleep to insert it but thought I was fine to be awake and witness them sticking a camera down a NO ENTRY ZONE...AGAIN! I didn't even get a gown this time, I had to undo my trousers which felt even more embarrassing. A third nurse had to be called upon to help retrieve it.
But, dignity has returned... temporarily. I get to experience all this again to destroy the remaining 2 kidney stones.
I am grateful the stones haven't taken it upon themselves to extract themselves though. I believe that is excruciating.
I have just finished listening to Neil Warnock's audiobook 'The Gaffer: The Trials and Tribulations of a Football Manager.' Conveniently, he then appeared on a couple of podcasts I listen to, promoting some live shows he's doing in which he's even more unfiltered than he's been in the past, as he's now retired and can say what he likes. He was doing a show at the Opera House in Manchester, which isn't a million miles from where my brother Daniel lives. Daniel recommended the book to me in the first place, I didn't want to go on my own, and I was sure he would go with me. The Gods were smiling down on me it seemed and urging me to go, and if there's one rule I've always lived my life by it's DON'T PISS OFF THE GODS. so with confirmation that Daniel wanted to go as well, I headed over to atgtickets.com to book the tickets.
Access card
I've used this site several times before and if you have an account and an Access Card (as I do), your requirements are already selected when you view the site. As you can see from the picture, I have three requirements:
Level Access For people who require wheelchair accessible facilities or have to have level access as they are unable to make even a few steps.
Distance If you have difficulty moving yourself more than short distances
Essential Companions This symbol is awarded to people for whom it would be significantly difficult to access services without support from another person.
I logged into the website and when I went to the event to book a seat. It says
access membership benefits applied
atgtickets.com seating plan
I was suspicious. A large amount of the 1,920 capacity are wheelchair accessible? Really?
Normally there is an option to filter just wheelchair access seats. There was no help on screen and no guidance as to how to use their search filter. There might not be any wheelchair seats available, but I could use any seat, providing I can get my wheelchair close to it. I gave them a call.
Me: I'm on your site looking to book tickets for Neil Warnock on Friday 29th August. I'm logged in but it's allowing me to buy most tickets. I'm in a wheelchair.
I went to the Utilita Arena to see Roger Waters in 2023 and there were lots of wheelchair seats. In fact there was a whole viewing platform incredibly close to the stage. That was a several thousand seating arena though, this was a twentieth century theatre, built the same year as the Titanic sank. Understandably wheelchair access is limited without making significant modifications to an existing building. But I think there could be an icon on the search filter saying wheelchair seats are unavailable.
Them: Both wheelchair seats are taken
Me: Both?
Them: Yes, I'm afraid there's only two seats in that theatre
Me: Oh, well is there an aisle seat I can book?
Them: There are steps to every other seat.
Me: Oh. I'm logged in on my account and your site is allowing me to book any seat. I have an access card that clearly says I'm a wheelchair user.
She checked my account and saw that I wasn't registered as a wheelchair user on their system. Clearly it's been removed in error as my access card states that I am in a wheelchair. There is no way to view what requirements are attributed to my account however, I just have to trust that they have the correct requirements and are not allowing me to purchase tickets I can't use. Otherwise I could book any seat in that theatre, travel upto Manchester only to find I have to climb stairs to get to my seat.
Them: oh sorry your account wasn't showing you required wheelchair access, it is now.
atgtickets.com seating plan
what you actually want is a seat with a wheelchair symbol on it which are few and far between.
I couldn't find an example as most of the performances seemingly have wheelchair seats.
This is 13 Going on 30 on Friday October 10th. As you can see, there is one seat available.
I can completely understand the want to reduce the amount of wheelchair seats purely for cost. But couldn't the government subsidise the theatre so that the customer still pays less, but the government pay the rest. Then the theatre won't miss out on the revenue.
I happened to be browsing aroound Facebook 1 day when I saw an advert for a performance by John Cleese talking about Fawlty Towers. It was at Manchester Albert Hall, which isn't a million miles away from my brother, Daniel etc.
These tickets were from seetickets.com. The sites not as interactive but it does offer wheelchair access. No doubt because the limited amount alloted were still available. I phoned up to arrange for a companion to attend with me and the lady on the other end of the phone was fantastic. She sorted it all out for me and kept apologising as it's an old building and they've done the best they can.
She set it all up and I recieved a confirmation e-mail:
This was a very much appreciated confirmation. I didn't feel like an after thought for once. The venue hadn't done the bare minimum to allow them to tick a box to say there's wheelchair access. The confirmation was hand written and she excused what I'm sure is going to be a nice experience.
I’m still unsure about the claimed ten mile range of my iM.4 Elite wheelchair. It’s quite an ambiguous claim. If they said it lasts for six hours, then one would know for definite how long it will last. They can’t say that though because you will likely travel on differing terrains, you’ll go up and down hill, you’ll go over bumps, you’ll stop and start repeatedly. I could go on, but you get the point.
So, as we are having uncharacteristically great weather at the moment and like I said in a previous post "I don't like to drive in the rain." As it's not likely to rain at the moment I've arranged to go and see my friend Helen Lawson who runs her business from Beaconside Business Village. I have got an appointment to see her in her proffesion as a psychic/healer/reiki master at the end of the month, but it might be raining then. Sorry, I'll rephrase. It's England so it WILL be raining then. According to the AA route planner it's 3.2 miles away, which is ten minutes in a car. So 3.2 miles there and back is 6.4 miles. I'm sure I will ride around a bit when I get there, and it is quite a large area - Beaconside Business Village is what was Stafford University - and I will have to travel a very small distance to get to the starting point. So let's call it a 7 mile round trip. That should leave me 3 miles of juice in the battery.
Plenty?
Hmm, I was doubtful. I wasn't sure if I would make it back home. So, wearing a cap for sun protection from that orange thing in the sky, a long sleeve top because I'm too lazy to put sun screen on, a bottle of water and Mark Bates insurance on speed dial (as I get roadside recovery with my insurance). I set off, knowing I may well fail. Don't try this at home unless you're a super brave boy like me.
Not all heroes wear capes 💪
See what I did there? I've split the video into two parts, thus upping the anxiety and maintaining your interest. Unless of course:
You really couldn't care less
You're really annoyed you've just wasted five and a half minutes of your life watching this drivel
You were only vaguely interested. You were just hoping to see me stranded at the side of the road, you're not interested enough to watch a second video
This first part of the journey was completed in about an hour and forty minutes. I could have gone there and back ten times in a car. I don't recommennd this mode of transport over the auto-mobile. As an alternative to it, the iM.4 Elite was perfectly comfortable in that it could handle the mild terrain it had to deal with. You do have to keep your wits about you as the angle of the ground can dictate the direction of the chair, and sometimes you're in terrain where the back wheels just spin rather than change your direction. As I've said previously, the weight of this chair is the sweetspot. 26kg is still quite light, but still heavy enough for acceptable use while still light enough to fold up and store in the boot of the car. It really does give me a level of independence as I can catch any taxi and most busses or trains. Apparantly it's airline friendly, although I'm yet to test that. I can't comment on the comfort of the cushion as I replaced the thin memory foam cushion it comes with for a thick gel cushion. For the brief time I sat on it, my right leg started to go numb, but that could well just be me.
Helen took me on a quick tour on the way upto the Emerald Lounge. You can see that everywhere is flat with thin pile carpet, wide corridors, wide doors I can easily get my wheelchair through. Disabled toilets on each level. Lift access and (the all important feature), a fully accessible lounge. It also has a cafe, gym, live events area and conference/exhibition areas.
The eagle eared amongst you will notice that Helen has an eerily similar voice to the person that read a section of my book - Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons - Available now on Amazon. Anyway, back to the action. After a non-alcoholic Koppaberg (I'm not a very good driver sober! Imagine if I had some alcohol in my system.) I started the drive back.
We pick up the action when I am about a mile and a half from home. I realisee what was quite a dull video before is only going to get duller. However we rejoin the action as the wheelchair is bleeping at me. Constantly. Freaking bleeping! Who wouldn't wanna see that?It's like an annoying child repeatedly poking you in the side and tellling you the same thing, over and over and over again.
Will I make it? I know, I know. This. Is. EXCITING!
Because I'm a good boy I go to the dentist for a checkup twice a year. I always have, one needs to look after one's teeth. Sorry! I started off with a lie and you should never start off with a lie. The "always have" bit, not the looking after your teeth bit. For a long time I didn't go to the dentist, it was quite expensive and it wasn't a favourite past time of mine. It still wasn't cheap unless you could find an NHS dentist, but I think only The Loch Ness Monster is a rarer site. I can't remember how I found out but their was a Dentist near me who were taking on NHS patients, but I had to hurry as there were a very limited number of spaces. I signed up and because I am disabled, my treatment is free. I started going again in 2018 and I've been going every 6 months ever since. The last 2 times I've attended, I've been marched off the premises and told not to show my face for 9 - 12 months. Sorry, that's a lie again. The bit about not showing my face for 9 - 12 months, although true, they didn't make it sound like I was being barred from a pub.
Despite their appearance my teeth are in good condition, I've never had a filling or any other work done.
However, every time I've been in the past I've been in my trustee manual steed and this time I'll be in my motorised wheelchair.
I like this Dentist, the staff have always been very accommodating and help me get into the building, they always make the downstairs treatment room available and they don't make me get into the dentist chair unless absolutely necessary. I'm reluctant to shine a light on the fact that there is no wheelchair access at all. The dental practice is an old end-of-terrace house. Come to think of it the dental practice I used in my younger days was an identical set up, but that one was far worse accessibility wise - I think there was a step up to the front door.
The entrance to this is flat, but the door is PVCu. The entrance is very narrow so the door can only open ninety degrees, but the door is about an inch thick, meaning the already narrow entrance loses about an inch and a half of width when the door is open. The frame/surround has about a 20mm lip at the bottom which I can get over in the manual chair by pushing my feet against the ground to lift the chair. I don't know how possible that will be in a chair that's over twice the weight.
I haven't been in nine months though, so if they've fixed the issue, you've just wasted your time reading this. You're welcome. 😁 At least you can watch the video and witness me - in what is becoming a running theme on this blog - running into a wall and running off the curb into the road. Again, you're welcome 😁
So, in conclusion, nothing much has changed, it's still as difficult to access. The reception desk is aboout the height of my shoulders and the receptionist is sitting behind the desk and doesn't stand to make communication any easier. The floor is nice and smooth though and there is acres of room. The denist room is very congested and extremely difficult to move around. There's barely enough room to turn around - and I can turn on a six pence.
Also, there's this really big imovable chair in the way which I'm not sure is necessary...
All in all it's not too much of a problem as I only have to do it once a year and it's another opportunity to take advantage of now being independant. In the past I've had to get a taxi or get a lift off my parents'. It's a great opportunity to meet people. I've met a few people while I'm out pootling around - especially when the weather was good and people were out walking their dogs. Dogs are often fascinated by the chair that moves on its own. I had to stop on one occasion because I could hear a dog wheezing as it was straining at its lead to get to me. The wheelchair can also be a good conversation starter for the non dog-owner as was the case at the Dentist's when a woman was telling me about her friend who has a motorised wheelchair.
