Wheelchair Worries - Sorry, you'll have to use the Gatehouse theatre toilet

"Every Monday I attend

ANDYSMANCLUB at Stafford Rugby Club"

It's free to attend, runs from 6:45pm-9pm, there's even free biscuits and (sometimes) free pastries. Rolling through the doors for the first time was incredibly daunting but something I'm glad I did as it's helped a lot and I've made some good friends there. I've been going for about 14 months and I urge anyone who's considering attending to push through any anxiety/apprehension as everybody is so welcoming and I guarantee you will feel better having got things off your chest. It gives you a different perspective of your issue(s) when you say it out loud to people rather than to yourself in your own head. Well it does for me anyway, I'm often realising that what seemed like a much bigger issue in my head, isn't when I try to explain it.

I have built up a good friendship with them and it was suggested we meet up at The Empourium on Monday 29th December as AMC would be closed for the Christmas holidays. I was quite looking forward to it, it would be a chance to have a few drinks with friends - something I don't do very often nowadays.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

Everything is on one level. The floor is wood, there is acres of room to get up to the bar. It wasn't particularly busy while I was here, but there was plenty of room in front of the bar and the bar was very very wide. I'd imagine they could fit about a dozen bar staff. There are a few pool tables, darts, crazy golf, shuffleboard,  Bowling and Table Tennis.

The Empourium 4/5: 

The Empourium

I was one of the first to arrive and their were two of the AMC lads sitting at a table. I had arrived at the same time as one of the other members so we both went to the bar to get a drink. 

The bar man spoke to me to take my order. 
"Well duh" you're thinking. "Of course he spoke to you, most bar staff do! They need to find out what you want to order."
True, but for the purposes of this post, it's quite important that he acknowledged me and my situation before I bought a drink. He leaned over the bar so that I could reach the contactless pay point.
He was definitely aware I was in a wheelchair.

We went back to the table, which was by the door, a door that we found out stays wide open unless somebody closes it - which nobody does, we,  push the door open like a saloon door or pull it open and expect it to shoot behind us. It was bloody freezing - Most pubs have two doors or the external door on a lever so it automatically closes.

I was drinking bottles rather than pints as I'd drunk a lot this Christmas and there was more to come. As I said in my previous post I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. I said I was going to the toilet and one of the people I was with said
"erm, I think the only toilet's might be upstairs."

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

Source: No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I went up to the bar to ask the bar staff where the toilets are.
"We haven't got a disabled toilet, sorry. We were let down by the builder."
I waited for the solution I was sure he'd offer. He'd served me when I came in, surely he'd noticed then that I was in a wheelchair and I wasn't going to be able to get to the toilets. Surely he realises that this is an essential requirement when serving people beer?

One of the guys I was with said "you could go to the Gatehouse."
I was furious. Not with my friend, but that this solution wasn't offered by the barman. Furious I wasn't warned before I bought the drink. Furious that he had tried to blame it on being let down.

So off I went. Two hundred yards up the road to use the toilet in another establishment. As I was leaving The Gatehouse to return to The Empourium I bumped into the manager who had personally helped me a few months previously when I went to watch Milton Jones. She was incredibly helpful then and told me I could pop back and use their facilities whenever I needed to. 

I returned to our table by the seemingly permanently open door. I returned for about twenty minutes and with an almost empty bottle of beer in front of me I needed to visit The Gatehouse...AGAIN! It was now raining. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet but I wasn't very enthusiastic at the prospect of getting wet every time I went to the loo, so I phoned my Dad and asked him to come and get me.

There are two entrances to The Gatehouse. The main entrance (which has steps) and  an entrance with a ramped access (about ten yards further down). On this occasion the automatic door decided not to slide open. I could see the lights on the sensor change from green to red, I presumed 'red' meant it wasn't going to open but I also assumed it was due to my position/stature. There was a group of people walking past, I called out - slightly panicked as I hadn't planned for this delay. A guy broke away from the pack to come and activate the sensor for me. It didn't work for him either. So he went to the entrance and opened the door from the other side.

"Thanks!" I called out as I whizzed past him.

I hope he didn't think I was being rude and didn't seem sufficiently thankful for his help. I was veery grateful, but the situation was critical by then.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I've updated Empourium's rating to 1 out of 5. All of the positive points I mentioned previously still stand but when you're expected to go elsewhere to go to the toilet...

The Empourium 1/5: 

**********

A new bar featuring interactive darts and a shuffleboard table is set to open tonight in Stafford. 

The bar opens at noon and will also host games such as beer pong, pool, and table tennis. An extension upstairs featuring a nine-hole crazy golf course and bowling alley will be opening at the end of November.

Source: Staffordshire Live - 11th November-2022 

I visited The Empourium a little over three years since it opened. So I was curious by what was meant when the barman said they were let down. Surely they were able to find somebody else to install a wheelchair accessible toilet in the years since? Have they tried to install a disabled toilet recently, but something had got in the way? 

"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"

I messaged them on Facebook Messenger and they responded within minutes. They confirmed that they don't have disabled toilets. I enquired further and asked
"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"
"It is not a legal requirement no as it is an old building/structure." They replied.

I know this to be true if the building in question is a listed building. Grade 2 listed buildings are allowed to install disabled toilets, but it is not a straightforward process. There is something called the equality act which requires reasonable adjustments for disabled access, this does not override the legal protection of historic features, meaning any modifications must respect the building’s character. 

This building didn't look old enough to be listed however. For example, I know the Soup Kitchen is listed because to get into the building they had to get a portable ramp out from a cupboard, they told me they wanted to install a permanent structure but had been denied planning permission because it was a listed building.

I wasn't convinced this was a listed building so I checked it on historicengland.org.uk. As I suspected it wasn't listed. It's not even an historic building.

"Based on the available information, the Foregate Street Vintage Emporium in Stafford is listed as having accessible, disabled-friendly facilities. This typically implies the presence of accessible toilets to accommodate visitors with mobility needs, adhering to accessibility standards."

The above is the AI overview when entering the Google search"should the empourium in stafford have disabled toilets".

@fatpigeonsbook 

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Wheelchair Worries - Just call me Phoebe Buffay

Phoebe Buffay doesn't
like flying in rain

I've always said I'm like Phoebe Buffay and the reaction from the strangers who's conversation I've just interrupted to tell them this, is always,

"Who are you?" or "Erm, ok. Thanks for letting me know?"

Well now I've got proof. 

Phoebe doesn't like to fly commercial airliners' in the rain. I don't like to ride my motorised wheelchair in the rain. 
Similar.

Phoebe Buffay has never flown in the rain, so how does she know? I've never ridden my wheelchair in the rain so how would I know? She just knew and I just knew.
Similar.
Phobe's grandmother left her a family recipe which turned out to be from Nestlè Tollhouse and is burning in...ok, the similarities end there.

On Monday 19th May I decided to make my own way to Andy's Man Club. I normally get a lift there and take a taxi back, It's a journey that takes 7 minutes by car, however, (at most) I can achieve 4mph so it took me 40 minutes. I videoed my entire trip using the high tech set up of my old Samsung smartphone attached to a tripod that I held between my legs. As a lot of you reading this won't have experienced travelling long distances in a wheelchair, I thought it would be interesting for you to experience it with me. 

Full disclosure, on reflection. it isn't. 

My battery status

I thought I'd add some jeopardy to the video by updating you on the range of my battery. The battery - even though fully charged - would drain quite quickly (I thought) because of the terrain. Even though the iM.4 Elite has an (alleged) range of 10 miles, I assumed that was a best case scenario, you would only achieve that if you were driving on a 10 mile long, flat piece of marble. I was going to be on footpaths, going up hills I even might have to swerve pot holes. 

Full disclosure again, there is no jeopardy. It appears the iM.4 Elite really does have that range. It only lost 2 of it's 5 bars. For those of you mathematically challenged, that's 40% or 4 miles.

At the end of my journey as I approached Stafford Rugby Club - where Andy's Man Club is, I stopped filming... Moments before I went off road and got stuck in gravel trying to avoid the 4 speed bumps that were breaking my back when I went over them. Fortunately a woman was walking behind me who offered to drag me out. She struggled though because - as i've mentioned before the chair is heavy and when it's in motorised mode it can't be moved. So she was pushing a 26kg chair, with the handbrake on with a 10 stone man sitting in the chair. Oh, and she can't get traction because her feet are sliding on the gravel. I remember thinking before venturing off-road "this is a bad idea! You're going to get stuck." But as you have probably worked out I'm a bit of an idiot. Here is an excerpt of my book (Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons) read by my friend Helen Lawson. 

The e-book is only £1.77 and although primarily about my year long stay in hospital due to a brain tumour, there are several occasions when I tell humorous stories from my past.

But I'm sure you're eagerly waiting to watch my epic journey from my POV. It was forty minutes, but Ive edited it down as not all of it was as exciting as crossing the road. No need to thank me.

@fatpigeonsbook

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Wheelchair Worries - Andy's Man Club - It's Okay To Talk

Back in November, I thought, it's been quite a long time since my tumour, I should probably show my face and remind people I'm still alive. My insecurities and desire to avoid people, had just been a way to avoid life. But getting back into life isn't so easy after a long period of dodging it. I'm forty-two now, so I think that's mission accomplished, time for this old dog to learn some old (but new to him) tricks. Fortuitously, I received a text from my GP surgery. Their annual Community Mental Health Event was being held at Stafford Rangers Social Club. I'd been there a few times and knew it had excellent access. My main worry had already been dealt with, I knew it had wide corridors, smooth floors, a big function room and everything was on one floor.

As I had only been thinking about doing something like this for many minutes, had I manifested it? Or was it just pure coincidence?
Probably the latter.
If I were you, I wouldn't cancel those tickets for Paul McKenna's next tour. I think there's more to manifesting than just having a bit of a think.

I stuck to the idea of attending rather than making up some reason why I should take the easy way out and not go. I booked a taxi and then cancelled it immediately as my Dad said he could take me. We got to Stafford Rangers and Dad got out to get the chair and assumed I would expect him to push me around in there.
"No thanks, I'd rather go in on my own". I said.
I'd got my big boy pants on today! 💪

I wheeled myself in, self conscious of the fact that other people in wheelchairs seem to just glide along, giving the wheels a little push every few metres. I however, constantly correct my direction and stop the start like an old spluttering car.

Two women at the door greeted me and held the door open, told me to go along the corridor and turn right at the end. There was no issue of access. As I remembered, the floors were flat and smooth and the corridors were wide. I could just glide to the end of the corridor.

Could... but didn't.

Another woman greeted me at the door and told me there was a bar with refreshments to the left. I thanked her and went forth...before doubling back and asking her what do I do. I thought this was going to be a room of people all sitting in rows watching a talk/presentation or two. It wasn't. About fifteen charities had tables around the room with one or two people sat at them. You would talk to a charity that took your interest to get some further information.

I spoke to a few charities, but they wanted me to go for an interview and then wait to see if I'd been selected. Like I'd just applied to college. I didn't like how formal this was, I didn't like that I had to audition and if they deemed me worthy of help, I could attend. Katherine House Hospice were here as well. It was one of the first tables I encountered on my circuit. I was reading the information on the table, just being nosey, when I was approached.
"Can I help you?"
I knew what table I was at and fortunately, had no need for it. I didn't tell him that straight away though and had a chat, I didn't feel comfortable telling him "no thanks" . I thought Katherine House was a small charity that offered end of life care to a select few. It's actually a large charity that has two-hundred employees and six-hundred volunteers. They have a therapy and wellbeing clinic, a lymphoedema clinic, end of life care. It costs them about four million pounds a year, a lot of which is from donations. They rent space in many shops around Staffordshire where you can donate furniture. It's a big machine and a very worthwhile cause. Katherine House Hospice.

One of the first tables I came across was Andy's Man Club. The design of their station caught my attention. It was black with a hand in white making the ok sign. I stopped and a guy came out to talk to me. They are a group of men that meet up every Monday at Stafford Rugby Club for a couple of hours and gives you the chance to chat to a group of people who are all there for the same reason - to talk. I asked how many people go and he said it varies week by week but it could be as many as sixty. Whoah, that's quite a lot I thought. Straight away I was thinking about what it would be like to enter a room where sixty people all turn and look as I slowly wheel into the room, my wheelchair stopping and starting, constantly changing direction. My imagination was was running riot. I started trying to make my excuses for not going.
"I don't think people will be able to understand me, I said"
"We're chatting now and I have no difficulty in understanding you," he replied
"I don't know if I feel comfortable talking in front of that many people."
"There is no obligation to talk, you can just listen and socialise in the breaks. Some weeks I don't say anything, but last week I had a lot to get off my chest and you couldn't shut me up."

So he was a volunteer who attends these meetings himself? He handed me a flyer and I said I'd go. 

And I intended too.
And I did.

The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club.
Oops sorry. 

Same first rule, different club.

The first rule of Andy's Man Club is you don't talk about Andy's Man Club.

I shocked us both and kept to my word. Stafford Rugby Club kindly allow us the use of their facilities. There is loads of parking. There's even lots of disabled spaces which a lot of the time are left free, although there is rugby practice as well and obviously all the disabled spaces get used first. There's always people on the door to open the door for me on arrival, but I have to ask somebody to let me out as the doors aren't automatic. We meet on the first floor, but there is a lift for us mobility challenged folk.

The first time I went the guy I met at the Mental Health Event was there as well, so I wasn't in a room full of strangers. Which I am very appreciative of because I can guarantee I wouldn't have gone again the following weeks otherwise. About fifty people attend. We all sit in a big group, introduce ourselves and then get split up into smaller groups with at least one (but usually two or three) volunteers to head up the group. Oh and gallons of tea, biscuits and one of the members of our group brings a sack of pastries.

I've been going for a few months now and take advantage of the chance to talk to a captive audience. It's right what people say, it really does help to talk. We are always much harder on ourselves when left with just our own imagination. Talking to others gives me the true perspective of other people's opinion of me - which is always different to my own negative view. It's taken me a while to realise that I just try to deflect by attempting to be funny and never really speaking seriously. Andy's Man Club is a great start to my week, there's always somebody who can offer you advice, or quite often they don't offer any thoughts, you just feel better having spoken your thoughts to other people, rather than just thinking them. 

I enjoy going, it's a change of scenery and a good chance to socialise and get things off my chest. I don't think I'm too good at the socialising in breaks. Everybody's talking in a big echoey hall, which makes it hard to be heard.

I'll continue going and work on that though.

Andy's Man Club

@fatpigeonsbook

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