Showing posts with label iM.4 Elite. Show all posts
Showing posts with label iM.4 Elite. Show all posts

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Well That Was Embarrassing

CT Scan of my internal organs
CT scan
"Well that's not ideal"

That was my first thought when I went to the toilet and the toilet bowl looked like somebody had been murdered. I wasn't in any pain so I contemplated ignoring it, but this wasn't a bit of blood, it was enough for a small blood transfusion. The absence of pain meant that I couldn't call 999. It was late afternoon so there was no point phoning the doctors surgery as they would just tell me to call tomorrow at 8am when they have appointments available. I gave 111 a go and they were great, they asked me a few questions and made an immediate appointment for me at the hospital.

So I booked a taxi, bundled my trusty steed (iM.4 Elite wheelchair) in the boot, picked up my Mum and headed to the hospital.

I used Westside Taxis who I use several times a week. They've always been great with me, as I've said in a previous post the iM.4 Elite isn't the lightest chair but isn't so heavy it can't be lifted and stored in the car boot, allowing me to travel around. As long as you have kind and obliging people to help you.

An appointment had been made for me at the urology department allowing me to bypass the few hours I would have spent waiting in A&E. The urology department was completely empty and I was seen straight away. I had to give a sample on my arrival, which considering the total privacy I had, was one of the more dignified experiences during this whole process. I was then called in to see the consultant and - as this is a hospital I had flat floors, incredibly wide corridors even some of the doors are widened. Nobody was here, there were no stretched out legs to navigate and no obstacles, which as you'll know from previous posts, I am to driving what Stevie Wonder is to arts and crafts. 

I enjoy speeding around hospitals, it's almost like they're designed so it's easy to move around.

Upon testing the sample I'd provided, the consultant wanted me to go to the A&E in Stoke. He wasn't overly concerned and didn't bundle me stright into an ambulance. He didn't hold the test tube upto the light, sigh, slap me on the back and say "good luck". He didn't recoil in suprise at the blood red "urine" sample I'd given him and ask "HOLY SH*T, WHAT'S THAT?" So I wasn't too worried, but he was insistent that I went to A&E.

I bundled my trustee steed into another taxi and made my way to A&E. Stoke A&E is vast. There is a massive reception desk with several stations for many receptionists. There are different areas to wait in depending on your injury/illness. There is plenty of room everywhere and it's quite enjoyable to zoom around. I think people questioned how poorly I really was as I clearly wasn't in any discomfort and was more interested in taking advantage of this ideal motorised wheelchair environment. I was called into triage within minutes, it was confirmed what I was in for and I would need to wait for several hours to be seen. 

Yes I was in a hospital and yes there was some issue with my insides, but because of the iM.4 Elite I had independence, granted, my Mum was with me, but let's not focus on that.

A few hours went by and I was called in to see the doctor. It took all of fifteen minutes. He had a feel and a prod of my stomach and once he'd determined I wasn't in any pain, went off to speak to another consultant to determine the next course of action. He returned to say they wanted to do a CT Scan to see exactly what was going on. 

Tom Shaw: a swell guy
A swell guy
Now, I could moan about how it had taken several hours and 2 taxi trips which weren't exactly cheap just to tell me I needed a scan. I'm not going to do that though because I'm a swell guy... and this whole process had actually shown me with the aid of my trustee steed I was far more independent than I realised. If this had happened a few months earlier I couldn't have done anything about it as my dad was in Scotland at this time and I would have needed him to get to a hospital. 

Nowadays if I start pissing blood I can at least get to a hospital on my own. Sort of.

About a week went by and I was summoned to Stafford County hospital for a CT Scan. I called upon Westside taxis again, bundled my trustee steed into the boot and made my way to the hospital, again!

This was my first CT scan and much more pleasent than an MRI scan. A CT scan doesn't require you to wear ear defenders that have no affect on the volume of the cacophony of noise the scanner is making. I wasn't cocooned in a metal tube, I wasn't given a panic button incase I got claustrophobic. A nurse didn't stop the scan half way through to inject me with something.

The scan took about 20 minutes and I didn't want to fork out for another taxi, so I used my trusty 'dad' card and got him to pick me up.

My Journey from Headway to hospital
My Journey from Headway to hospital
Next, I had an appointment at the hospital again for a 'fibre optic examination of the bladder'. Now I'm not great at medical jargon, but I was fairly sure that meant they would investigate further with a camera. I was also sure of how they were going to get access to the bladder, and, well I consider that an exit, not an entrance thank you! I got the impression they didn't share my views though. I happened to be attending Headway brain injury clinic that day, so I made my own way up to the hospital. Headway was halfway there so I only had another 1.9 miles to go. It would take quite a long time to get there, but that was something I was getting used to now.

I arrived for my appointment and was immediately taken into a side room where a nurse assisted me with shedding all my clothes and putting on a hospital gown. This is a process I tend to conduct in privacy as it requires all kinds of wiggling and contortionism. It's certainly not recommended in a tiny room that's little bigger than a stock cupboard. 

Nice wide doors though, I can't fault the door width. 

The floors were nice and smooth again and there was acres of space. Although I didn't feel like zooming around anymore.

I was called in to a decent sized room with 5 people in. There was enough space that we weren't tripping over each other, but we were in quite close proximity. Let's not forget one of us was in a hospital gown as well, a gown that was only secured by the full weight of my arse while I was sitting in the wheelchair. 

Again, good wide doors though. I couldn't fault the door width.

One of the people was clearly the consultant and I'm guessing the other 4 were students. The consultant had my CT Scan on display as I walked in. The CT scan at the top of this post is the best I could achieve using 3rd party software, but I couldn't replicate the x-ray that was on display. The scan that was showing when I entered the room showed the full extent of the issue - 4 kidney stones. One of them was a whopper - 1.6cm.

"You've got 4 kidney stones, 2 in each kidney." the consultant enquired.

"Fair enough" I thought as I started to turn around to go straight back out hoping he wouldn't want to stick a camera in me.

"Even though we know you have kidney stones, we should just look with a camera to check there's nothing else there."
Bugger!

"Have you had some previous surgery?" The consultant enquired.

The cable that is connected to the shunt in my skull was coiled up like a sleeping snake in my stomach. Any fluid that collects around my brain is sent down this tube where it releases. Now, I'm no genius but this cable was about the height of me, but was only needed for the top half of the body.

Am I the only human that's not biodigradable?

I transferred onto the bed with the help of 2 nurses. As I had got out of my wheelchair the gown was no longer secured, fortunately my modesty was covered. Until I lay on the bed and was instructed to bend my legs at the knees creating an arch. Unfortunately, a nurse had positioned herself at the foot of the bed. Surely she knew what view she was going to be subjected to? I believe she quit with immediate effect and now works in finance.

Report Urgency: no alert
Verified: verified by Clark Alexander 22 May 2025

Three-phase CT urogram

Right kidney lower pole 0.8 cm 1100 HU non-obstructing calculus. Right kidney pelvis 0.8 cm 1200 non-obstructing calculus. Minuscule non-obstructing calculus in the lower pole on the right. Left upper pole 0.9 cm 960 HU non-obstructing calculus. Left kidney pelvis 1.6 cm 1600 HU non-obstructing calculus. Left lower pole 0.4 cm diameter non-obstructing calculus. On the delayed phase no upper tract urothelial lesion seen.

Other findings;

Uncomplicated-looking VP shunt or similar. This probably accounts for the shallow peritoneal liquid. Moderate faecal loading throughout the colon. Several tiny bilateral kidney cysts. Chronic bilateral L5 pars defects. Mild thoracolumbar scoliosis. Bone density is little on the low side considering the age. Right-sided dynamic hip screw.

I got off the bed and back into my wheelchair thus securing the gown again by sitting on it. I apologised to the nurse who had stood at the end of the bed but she couldn't hear me over her hysterical crying. I went back into the stock cupboard accompanied by a nurse to get dressed. I assured him I could do this on my own, he responded by saying he's not allowed to leave me on my own in case I have an accident. 

Now people like to say the phrase "it's health & safety gone mad" I say "whoever came up with this idea of Health & Safety for every day tasks was a perv."

Nice wide doors though, I can't fault the door width. 

I returned for my procedure a few weeks later. I had opted for keyhole laser surgery. They would go in get the 2 stones next to each other (there are 2 stones in each kidney) and obliterate them. Depending on the location of the stones, they may need to fit a temporary stent. 3 out of 5 people experience pain or discomfort. *Spoiler alert* I had a stent. I did experience pain. It would last for about 3 seconds when I passed water (which is constant - your bladder holds as much water as a sock). It was like a stomach ache that would rapidly increase and have me closing my eyes and wincing, but then it was gone. I don't know if that puts me in the 3 of 5 category or the 2 of 5, but it's not anything to write about... 

I didn't think too much about this procedure as I thought "I've been in hospital before, for a whole year, I can manage 1 night!" And I was right, but what I had forgotten about was the loss of dignity, although on this occasion I wasn't completely helpless and could move.

I had a few weeks back at home, knowing that I had an appointment to have the stent removed. This would be a 20 minute procedure under local anaesthetic. I should have been enthused that they felt this procedure wasn't intrusive enough for a general anaesthetic, but I was focused on the fact that they put me to sleep to insert it but thought I was fine to be awake and witness them sticking a camera down a NO ENTRY ZONE...AGAIN! I didn't even get a gown this time, I had to undo my trousers which felt even more embarrassing. A third nurse had to be called upon to help retrieve it.

But, dignity has returned... temporarily. I get to experience all this again to destroy the remaining 2 kidney stones.

I am grateful the stones haven't taken it upon themselves to extract themselves though. I believe that is excruciating.

@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook

Friday, August 1, 2025

Wheelchair Worries - Range anxiety

iM.4 Elite
iM.4 Elite
I’m still unsure about the claimed ten mile range of my iM.4 Elite wheelchair. It’s quite an ambiguous claim. If they said it lasts for six hours, then one would know for definite how long it will last. They can’t say that though because you will likely travel on differing terrains, you’ll go up and down hill, you’ll go over bumps, you’ll stop and start repeatedly. I could go on, but you get the point.

So, as we are having uncharacteristically great weather at the moment and like I said in a previous post "I don't like to drive in the rain." As it's not likely to rain at the moment I've arranged to go and see my friend Helen Lawson who runs her business from Beaconside Business Village. I have got an appointment to see her in her proffesion as a psychic/healer/reiki master at the end of the month, but it might be raining then. Sorry, I'll rephrase. It's England so it WILL be raining then. According to the AA route planner it's 3.2 miles away, which is ten minutes in a car. So 3.2 miles there and back is 6.4 miles. I'm sure I will ride around a bit when I get there, and it is quite a large area - Beaconside Business Village is what was Stafford University - and I will have to travel a very small distance to get to the starting point. So let's call it a 7  mile round trip. That should leave me 3 miles of juice in the battery. 

Plenty?

Hmm, I was doubtful. I wasn't sure if I would make it back home. So, wearing a cap for sun protection from that orange thing in the sky, a long sleeve top because I'm too lazy to put sun screen on, a bottle of water and Mark Bates insurance on speed dial (as I get roadside recovery with my insurance). I set off, knowing I may well fail. Don't try this at home unless you're a super brave boy like me. 

Not all heroes wear capes 💪


See what I did there? I've split the video into two parts, thus upping the anxiety and maintaining your interest. Unless of course:

  1. You really couldn't care less 
  2. You're really annoyed you've just wasted five and a half minutes of your life watching this drivel
  3. You were only vaguely interested. You were just hoping to see me stranded at the side of the road, you're not interested enough to watch a second video
This first part of the journey was completed in about an hour and forty minutes. I could have gone there and back ten times in a car. I don't recommennd this mode of transport over the auto-mobile. As an alternative to it, the iM.4 Elite was perfectly comfortable in that it could handle the mild terrain it had to deal with. You do have to keep your wits about you as the angle of the ground can dictate the direction of the chair, and sometimes you're in terrain where the back wheels just spin rather than change your direction. As I've said previously, the weight of this chair is the sweetspot. 26kg is still quite light, but still heavy enough for acceptable use while still light enough to fold up and store in the boot of the car. It really does give me a level of independence as I can catch any taxi and most busses or trains. Apparantly it's airline friendly, although I'm yet to test that. I can't comment on the comfort of the cushion as I replaced the thin memory foam cushion it comes with for a thick gel cushion. For the brief time I sat on it, my right leg started to go numb, but that could well just be me.

Helen took me on a quick tour on the way upto the Emerald Lounge. You can see that everywhere is flat with thin pile carpet, wide corridors, wide doors I can easily get my wheelchair through. Disabled toilets on each level. Lift access and (the all important feature), a fully accessible lounge. It also has a cafe, gym, live events area and conference/exhibition areas.











The eagle eared amongst you will notice that Helen has an eerily similar voice to the person that read a section of my book - Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons - Available now on Amazon. Anyway, back to the action. After a non-alcoholic Koppaberg (I'm not a very good driver sober! Imagine if I had some alcohol in my system.) I started the drive back.

We pick up the action when I am about a mile and a half from home. I realisee what was quite a dull video before is only going to get duller. However we rejoin the action as the wheelchair is bleeping at me. Constantly. Freaking bleeping! Who wouldn't wanna see that?It's like an annoying child repeatedly poking you in the side and tellling you the same thing, over and over and over again.

Will I make it? I know, I know. This. Is. EXCITING!






@fatpigeonsbook

@fatpigeonsbook


Thursday, May 29, 2025

Wheelchair Worries - Just call me Phoebe Buffay

Phoebe Buffay doesn't like flying in rain
Phoebe Buffay doesn't
like flying in rain
I've always said I'm like Phoebe Buffay and the reaction from the strangers who's conversation I've just interrupted to tell them this, is always,
"Who are you?" or "Erm, ok. Thanks for letting me know?"
Well now I've got proof. 

Phoebe doesn't like to fly commercial airliners' in the rain. I don't like to ride my motorised wheelchair in the rain. 
Similar.
Phoebe Buffay has never flown in the rain, so how does she know? I've never ridden my wheelchair in the rain so how would I know? She just knew and I just knew.
Similar.
Phobe's grandmother left her a family recipe which turned out to be from Nestlè Tollhouse and is burning in...ok, the similarities end there.

On Monday 19th May I decided to make my own way to Andy's Man Club. I normally get a lift there and take a taxi back, It's a journey that takes 7 minutes by car, however, (at most) I can achieve 4mph so it took me 40 minutes. I videoed my entire trip using the high tech set up of my old Samsung smartphone attached to a tripod that I held between my legs. As a lot of you reading this won't have experienced travelling long distances in a wheelchair, I thought it would be interesting for you to experience it with me. 

Full disclosure, on reflection. it isn't. 

My battery status
My battery status
I thought I'd add some jeopardy to the video by updating you on the range of my battery. The battery - even though fully charged - would drain quite quickly (I thought) because of the terrain. Even though the iM.4 Elite has an (alleged) range of 10 miles, I assumed that was a best case scenario, you would only achieve that if you were driving on a 10 mile long, flat piece of marble. I was going to be on footpaths, going up hills I even might have to swerve pot holes. 

Full disclosure again, there is no jeopardy. It appears the iM.4 Elite really does have that range. It only lost 2 of it's 5 bars. For those of you mathematically challenged, that's 40% or 4 miles.

At the end of my journey as I approached Stafford Rugby Club - where Andy's Man Club is, I stopped filming... Moments before I went off road and got stuck in gravel trying to avoid the 4 speed bumps that were breaking my back when I went over them. Fortunately a woman was walking behind me who offered to drag me out. She struggled though because - as i've mentioned before the chair is heavy and when it's in motorised mode it can't be moved. So she was pushing a 26kg chair, with the handbrake on with a 10 stone man sitting in the chair. Oh, and she can't get traction because her feet are sliding on the gravel. I remember thinking before venturing off-road "this is a bad idea! You're going to get stuck." But as you have probably worked out I'm a bit of an idiot. Here is an excerpt of my book (Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons) read by my friend Helen Lawson

The e-book is only £1.77 and although primarily about my year long stay in hospital due to a brain tumour, there are several occasions when I tell humorous stories from my past.


But I'm sure you're eagerly waiting to watch my epic journey from my POV. It was forty minutes, but Ive edited it down as not all of it was as exciting as crossing the road. No need to thank me.