An Offer I Couldn't refuse

A few months ago I received my regular newsletter from Stafford Gatehouse Theatre, which mentioned a show called Radio Ga Ga. Radio Ga Ga are a Queen Tribute band and I didn't know anything about them to be honest, but I leapt at the chance to a sing-a-long to Queen songs. Ok I didn't leap as that's difficult to achieve from a sitting position. I was sufficiently enthusiastic. I just needed to find a friend or two with a similar musical taste, I found them straight away - Kim and Eva. I'm not sure how similar our musical tastes are, but there was a crossover here. We would meet beforehand and get some food, watch Freddie Mercury and sing along (badly) with him and then sit in a pub until last orders.

Not a bad evening!

Some Italian Cuisine

EATING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

We met at Zizzi beforehand. It has a manual door that fortunately I didn't have to try and open as my friends spotted me and opened the door for me. The whole of the ground floor is surrounded by glass walls and several tables are in view of the door, so there is always somebody to help me get in. There are no steps on the ground floor. The floor is completely flat and you can get everywhere. There is a bar in the middle and an exposed kitchen. I always like an exposed kitchen, I find it very re-assuring that they're happy for the customer's to see what they're doing. The toilets are upstairs, but they have a disabled toilet downstairs. The gaps between some of the tables aren't big enough to fit the wheelchair through. 

Zizzi 4/5:

A Short Ride

Zizzi is only few minutes walk from The Gatehouse, and with the 4mph top speed of my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility) I can get that time down to... actually I can't get that down, its top speed is a brisk walking pace.

I got round by the police station and - as I was crossing the road that vehicles use to get into the police station - I noticed that the drop curb was quite high. Instead of the curb being at the same height as the road, the curb was about an inch and a half higher. The front wheels mounted it but, surprisingly the larger back wheels couldn't manage it. The wheels span unable to scale the curb. I pressed my feet into the floor and with the full force of the mighty 4mph top speed, the chair suddenly shot up the curb and as the rear left wheel hit the curb, the chair changed direction and shot me off the path into the road. I got to the Gatehouse without any further incidents (which is an achievement for me.)

Unfortunately there was time for one more incident.

Before I tell you of yet another incident, I feel I should defend myself - or at least give some context - against your probable question "shouldn't you have a driving test for that thing?" Most 

people say this to me - from a distance, while sitting on a chair hugging there knees against their chest so I don't run over their feet. 

I don't have much spacial awareness anymore. The right lense of my glasses is frosted as I have double vision, so I don't have any depth perception. Right, I'm glad we've got that settled. I'm confident you won't laugh when I tell you, I ran into a  piano.

You're laughing at me aren't you?

There is a corridor leading into the main auditorium that is only wide enough for one person. There was somebody coming out of the auditorium with a refreshments trolley, so I hung back and moved to the right...where there was a piano...I blame the Gatehouse, I mean why would you have a piano in the theatre?

Radio Ga Ga

I love Queen. Always have. Always will. Obviously, I never saw the original lineup, as I was only eight when Freddie Mercury died. I've never seen the current lineup with Adam Lambert, I was sceptical of Queen without Freddie Mercury, nobody can fill his shoes and it annoys me when people try. Queen with Adam Lambert won me over, Lambert doesn't try to mimic Freddie but has a fantastic voice and sings the songs in his own way. Radio Ga Ga are much the same... 

I realise this might not make sense if you look at the video and see somebody who is clearly mimicking Freddie Mercury. Maybe I didn't mind so much because he'd got a great band backing him. The Brian May replacement is a brilliant guitarist. I'm not sure I would class them as a tribute band. They are a great band who only play Queen songs and they put on a great show. The audience were loving it, singing along, waving hands in there, waving phones with torches turned on in the air. There were even a few tears shed during These Are The Days Of Our Lives. I will go again if I get the chance.

Last Orders

We finished by going to the pub for last orders. I only mention this so I can put this short video up. LOOK! I go between the lamppost and the bollard without going near either of them!

@fatpigeonsbook 

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Wheelchair Worries - Sorry, you'll have to use the Gatehouse theatre toilet

"Every Monday I attend

ANDYSMANCLUB at Stafford Rugby Club"

It's free to attend, runs from 6:45pm-9pm, there's even free biscuits and (sometimes) free pastries. Rolling through the doors for the first time was incredibly daunting but something I'm glad I did as it's helped a lot and I've made some good friends there. I've been going for about 14 months and I urge anyone who's considering attending to push through any anxiety/apprehension as everybody is so welcoming and I guarantee you will feel better having got things off your chest. It gives you a different perspective of your issue(s) when you say it out loud to people rather than to yourself in your own head. Well it does for me anyway, I'm often realising that what seemed like a much bigger issue in my head, isn't when I try to explain it.

I have built up a good friendship with them and it was suggested we meet up at The Empourium on Monday 29th December as AMC would be closed for the Christmas holidays. I was quite looking forward to it, it would be a chance to have a few drinks with friends - something I don't do very often nowadays.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

Everything is on one level. The floor is wood, there is acres of room to get up to the bar. It wasn't particularly busy while I was here, but there was plenty of room in front of the bar and the bar was very very wide. I'd imagine they could fit about a dozen bar staff. There are a few pool tables, darts, crazy golf, shuffleboard,  Bowling and Table Tennis.

The Empourium 4/5: 

The Empourium

I was one of the first to arrive and their were two of the AMC lads sitting at a table. I had arrived at the same time as one of the other members so we both went to the bar to get a drink. 

The bar man spoke to me to take my order. 
"Well duh" you're thinking. "Of course he spoke to you, most bar staff do! They need to find out what you want to order."
True, but for the purposes of this post, it's quite important that he acknowledged me and my situation before I bought a drink. He leaned over the bar so that I could reach the contactless pay point.
He was definitely aware I was in a wheelchair.

We went back to the table, which was by the door, a door that we found out stays wide open unless somebody closes it - which nobody does, we,  push the door open like a saloon door or pull it open and expect it to shoot behind us. It was bloody freezing - Most pubs have two doors or the external door on a lever so it automatically closes.

I was drinking bottles rather than pints as I'd drunk a lot this Christmas and there was more to come. As I said in my previous post I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. I said I was going to the toilet and one of the people I was with said
"erm, I think the only toilet's might be upstairs."

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

Source: No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I went up to the bar to ask the bar staff where the toilets are.
"We haven't got a disabled toilet, sorry. We were let down by the builder."
I waited for the solution I was sure he'd offer. He'd served me when I came in, surely he'd noticed then that I was in a wheelchair and I wasn't going to be able to get to the toilets. Surely he realises that this is an essential requirement when serving people beer?

One of the guys I was with said "you could go to the Gatehouse."
I was furious. Not with my friend, but that this solution wasn't offered by the barman. Furious I wasn't warned before I bought the drink. Furious that he had tried to blame it on being let down.

So off I went. Two hundred yards up the road to use the toilet in another establishment. As I was leaving The Gatehouse to return to The Empourium I bumped into the manager who had personally helped me a few months previously when I went to watch Milton Jones. She was incredibly helpful then and told me I could pop back and use their facilities whenever I needed to. 

I returned to our table by the seemingly permanently open door. I returned for about twenty minutes and with an almost empty bottle of beer in front of me I needed to visit The Gatehouse...AGAIN! It was now raining. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet but I wasn't very enthusiastic at the prospect of getting wet every time I went to the loo, so I phoned my Dad and asked him to come and get me.

There are two entrances to The Gatehouse. The main entrance (which has steps) and  an entrance with a ramped access (about ten yards further down). On this occasion the automatic door decided not to slide open. I could see the lights on the sensor change from green to red, I presumed 'red' meant it wasn't going to open but I also assumed it was due to my position/stature. There was a group of people walking past, I called out - slightly panicked as I hadn't planned for this delay. A guy broke away from the pack to come and activate the sensor for me. It didn't work for him either. So he went to the entrance and opened the door from the other side.

"Thanks!" I called out as I whizzed past him.

I hope he didn't think I was being rude and didn't seem sufficiently thankful for his help. I was veery grateful, but the situation was critical by then.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I've updated Empourium's rating to 1 out of 5. All of the positive points I mentioned previously still stand but when you're expected to go elsewhere to go to the toilet...

The Empourium 1/5: 

**********

A new bar featuring interactive darts and a shuffleboard table is set to open tonight in Stafford. 

The bar opens at noon and will also host games such as beer pong, pool, and table tennis. An extension upstairs featuring a nine-hole crazy golf course and bowling alley will be opening at the end of November.

Source: Staffordshire Live - 11th November-2022 

I visited The Empourium a little over three years since it opened. So I was curious by what was meant when the barman said they were let down. Surely they were able to find somebody else to install a wheelchair accessible toilet in the years since? Have they tried to install a disabled toilet recently, but something had got in the way? 

"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"

I messaged them on Facebook Messenger and they responded within minutes. They confirmed that they don't have disabled toilets. I enquired further and asked
"I thought it was a legal requirement to ensure services are accessible?"
"It is not a legal requirement no as it is an old building/structure." They replied.

I know this to be true if the building in question is a listed building. Grade 2 listed buildings are allowed to install disabled toilets, but it is not a straightforward process. There is something called the equality act which requires reasonable adjustments for disabled access, this does not override the legal protection of historic features, meaning any modifications must respect the building’s character. 

This building didn't look old enough to be listed however. For example, I know the Soup Kitchen is listed because to get into the building they had to get a portable ramp out from a cupboard, they told me they wanted to install a permanent structure but had been denied planning permission because it was a listed building.

I wasn't convinced this was a listed building so I checked it on historicengland.org.uk. As I suspected it wasn't listed. It's not even an historic building.

"Based on the available information, the Foregate Street Vintage Emporium in Stafford is listed as having accessible, disabled-friendly facilities. This typically implies the presence of accessible toilets to accommodate visitors with mobility needs, adhering to accessibility standards."

The above is the AI overview when entering the Google search"should the empourium in stafford have disabled toilets".

@fatpigeonsbook 

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No Wheelchair Worries At Hogarths

I realise that title may be a bit confusing when you read this post. Their wheelchair lift wasn't working at the time and their toilets were up five steps which I had to walk up...with help! Ok, maybe I should just tell the story as you're now thinking I'm just lazy and can actually walk fine.

What Happened...

It was just after three o'clock and we'd just finished Christmas festivities including lunch and secret santa at Headway. If you're wondering I got two MASSIVE bags of sweets - thanks, secret santa... whoever you are. A few of us decided we didn't want to go home yet and as we were in the vicinity of several pubs, it would be rude not to have a few festive Guinesses.

It was suggested we go to the Lamb but I soon torpedoed that idea as it's main entrance was up a large step. The side entrance had a portable ramp up to a door that was barely wide enough to fit my wheelchair through. I knew without going in that this was a pub that had done the bare minimum to tick the 'wheelchair accessible' box.

Hogarths

Tony suggested Hogarths as it had a sign outside that says wheelchair access. 

There is a small seating area to the left and the right when you enter and a wide staircase with five steps up to the rest of the pub -  notably the bar and the toilets - directly in front of you. It was a disabled toilet though so I looked around to see what their solution was for getting up to it. The solution was the wheelchair lift in the corner. It was one of those lifts that you roll onto, lower the arm, shut the gate and wait a few seconds for it to do the job of the stairs. 

I immediately untensed. 

I've stopped asking if there is a disabled toilet in pubs and restaurants as just about everywhere has them nowadays, but I can't help but stress about it until I know for sure.

I transferred from my wheelchair to a bench seat and proceeded to get 'merry'. Unfortunately, I'm a middle aged man and the effects of the Guinness hit me sooner than I expected. I got into my wheelchair and Kim helped me into the wheelchair lift. She was probably still experiencing PTSD from our coffee a few weeks previous. And I'm sure she wasn't surprised that I couldn't get the lift to work. Her natural assumption was that I was doing something wrong - which was highly likely. Try as she might, it wouldn't budge though. We called the manager over who couldn't get it working either. He said it was quite temperamental and in the new year he wanted to remove it in favour of a good ol' fashioned ramp. He was very apologetic and said 

"it's not going to work I'm afraid."

I looked at my not quite finished pint - I told you, I'm getting old. I can't even finish a pint without a pit stop. 

I don't like not finishing a pint and all that stood in my way was five steps.

"It's only a few steps, there's a bannister I can hold on to with my right hand. If you can support me on my left side, I think I can climb them."

"Sure no problem."

I wheeled over to the steps, grabbed the bannister and hauled myself up to standing and with my left arm being held walked up the five steps. I stood at the top waiting for my wheelchair to be put behind me with a smug grin on my face, like I'd just conquered Everest. 

TOILET watch 

The room was quite small. I say small, I interpret a bathroom as small if their isn't room to put my chair side on to the toilet. I appreciate this isn't something most other people would be concerned with. But it means I can retract one of my wheelchair arms and transfer easily onto the toilet. There wasn't enough room to do anything but roll up to the toilet and then roll backwards to return to the pub. It was a perfectly useable disabled toilet though. There were grab rails and the sink and hand dryer were at a suitable height. It was locked with a lock that could be opened by a radio key.

Hogarths 4/5: 

I used the facilities and then called the manager over to help me back down. I descended Everest and returned to the remains of my pint.

We remained here for the next four hours and I went to the loo after every pint. There were a couple of guys sat at the top of stairs who made it there job to help me... repeatedly. As you're aware I don't tend to walk nowadays and when I do I heavily lean on the person helping me. Considering I was getting drunker and drunker everytime I returned to climb Everest, I was probably leaning quite heavily on this stranger. He didn't seem to mind though and when he left told me any of the others will help me.

DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT watch 

I liked it here and will go again. They treated me the same as any other paying customer not as a requirement they had to fulfil. The fact that they had acknowledged this was a problem, hoped to change it in the near future and actually thanked me for my understanding. This attitude is one that I don't always receive and too often I get a simple 'sorry'. 

Hogarths 4/5: 

The next drinking establishment I visited only had upstairs toilets. I had to go to a nearby establishment to use their disabled toilet.

More on that next time...

@fatpigeonsbook 

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Wheelchair Worries - That was supposed to be an 11 minute car ride...

£15 for a taxi!

I arranged with a friend to go round to her house for a coffee. It was going to cost fifteen pounds to make the eleven minute journey via taxi though, so I had the brain wave that I would take the bus instead. It wouldn't cost me anything and I could document it,

I'm sure that would make a fantastically thrilling post.

In case you didn't notice, that was said with sarcasm...

It was tipping it down with rain. The video doesn't quite show the extent of it, but trust me it was biblical...well, alright, it was raining a bit, but it meant I was going to get a lot wetter waiting for two busses than I would if I took a taxi, but I would have a nice hot coffee waiting for me at the end...hopefully.

It was lashing it down with rain (honestly, it was biblical), my trousers were soaked through and I'd only been waiting for fifteen minutes. I don't like being cold and wet so I decided to open up my taxi app, spend the fifteen pounds and look forward to having a mug of coffee in the very near future, and guess what?
Go on guess!
Yep, the bus emerged from around the corner. It offered immediate shelter from the rain and it saved me from spending fifteen pounds. Granted, it would take me into town, which was the exact opposite direction to Wildwood, and I would have to wait in the rain to catch a second bus, I was fairly sure I was going to regret this decision. 

*SPOILER ALERT* I DID REGRET IT

When we reached my stop, the bus driver lowered the ramp and - as he is familiar with my lack of capabilities when driving my trustee steed (iM4.Elite from Easy Living Mobility) - he warned a person waiting in the bus shelter to mind her feet because the bus driver knew what I was like.

Should I be offended? Nah, it's harder to maim people who are already wary of you.

I shut my front door about thirty-five minutes ago, I was now even further away from my destination than when I started. I got to the bus stop to catch my second bus and I asked one of the people waiting if she could check the timetable for when my bus arrives.

Why do you have to be someone of a certain height with decent eye sight to read the bus timetable?

Even if I wasn't in a chair, my poor eye site means that I still would struggle to see it. What if there was nobody here to help me? I think the wheelchair user is an after thought - if a thought at all other than doing the minimal amount so that they can tick a box on a form. 

According to the timetable my bus was due in twenty minutes at 12:48 but the electronic board said 13:48. I'm sure this was an error but I'd arranged to be there at one o'clock. It was still raining (and remember, it was biblical) I was still cold, so I gave up and ordered a taxi.

Ah the predictability of stupidity

I booked a taxi on the app - the app that I always use - I followed my usual routine making sure I didn't put in my usual payment details as I normally use the taxi service to get to Headway. I paid with my debit card rather than the debit card that the council funds. I had arranged to be picked up from my usual location however - my house. I got  a text saying "your driver is outside". I looked up from my phone. Nothing. I looked up and down the road. Nothing. It then dawned on me. I phoned the taxi company and told them my mistake and told them where I actually was. That mistake cost me half of the fare on top of the original fare.

This is going well

• I'm cold
• I'm wet through
• I've had to order the taxi that I didn't want to pay for anyway
• I've ordered it for the wrong pickup point
• I've had to pay extra to rectify my balls up
• Oh and I'm late

I finally arrived at my friend's - Kim - house. The first hurdle to overcome was the inch high step up into her house. I had questioned this when we made the arrangement and her response was "ah, we'll manage, don't worry about it." In fact I had a number of worries that involved my wheelchair and her house. Her response was "we'll manage, don't worry about it." Although it soon became "WE'LL MANAGE!" I took this subtle hint to stop worrying about it. 

1. Issue 1
   

   She had a dining room chair for me to transfer onto. And while I lazed around watching, she got the wheelchair in. Well, she tried, but the wheelchair is quite heavy and quite awkward to move unless it's folded up. The taxi driver offered to help before he left. We now had a sliding puzzle to solve. The hall was quite small and we needed to get my trustee steed in and be able to shut the front door. Kim slid me over towards the stairs, the taxi driver lifted my trustee steed inside and to the left of the door and we were able to close the front door.
2. Issue 2
   We were in the hall. We needed to be in the living room, so Kim slid me close enough to my wheelchair so that I could transfer onto it. I had to then wheel into the living room, there slight problem however. There was a shoe rack by the living room door, so I couldn't fit the wheelchair through the door and  the shoe rack was far too heavy and big to move. So I had to get back into the chair and then Kim slid me across the living room floor so I was close enough to transfer to the sofa. My electric chair was still in the hall though, so Kim folded it up and dragged it into the living room.
3. Issue 3
   Kim went into the kitchen to make a hot chocolate with Bailey's. Yum! Yum! 😋 She came back with a fairly full mug so I lent forward to sip it but I was forgetting that I was wearing a cap. The peak of the cap touched the mug which made me recoil immediately and the contents of the mug spilt onto my jeans and onto the sofa. She got me a cloth. I cleaned up my jeans and the sofa as best I could and then I slid across with Kim's help to the other sofa. She has a Miniature Dachshund who wanted to join in with our 'game'. He excitedly jumped up, I recoiled as if the dog was trying to gnaw my face off and Kim fell onto the sofa almost spilling hot chocolate on t'other sofa 
   
   Again, this was going well!
   
   
4. Issue 4
   I needed to go to the toilet. So I slowly went from the living room into the kitchen making sure I didn't mark the skirting boards or the walls. I then had to go into the utility, which was through a perfectly wide doorway, although there were several plastic bags hanging off a door next to the doorway. So, because I'm an idiot I tried to creep through the doorway without touching the bags. I could have just moved the bugs but then only a person who WASN'T an idiot would think of that. I was too close to the side and knocked into the skirting board and part of it came off. But I was barely moving at all so I thought it must have already been loose. I asked him and she reassured me that it was.
   
   I went back into the living room afterwards and bashed into the television table, knocking a Christmas calendar onto the floor.
5. Issue 5
   I was ready to go home so I booked a taxi and when it was about 15 minutes away I announced I better go now because I needed help to get me out again. We did the starting puzzle in reverse this time but Kim was struggling to get the wheelchair out through the front door. Fortunately her next door neighbours mother-in-law who Kim had never met, saw that we were struggling and offered to come and help. She helped Kim get the wheelchair outside and then helped me down the step into the wheelchair.
6. Issue 6
   The skirting board wasn't already loose, I knocked it off. Kim knew that I would go into meltdown so she hid the truth from me.

So there we have it. That's how easy it is to go around to a friend's house for coffee. She hasn't invited me around since though. Strange 🤔

@fatpigeonsbook

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