Wheelchair Worries - The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham

I got tickets for Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells Live in Concert. I'm a huge fan of Mike Oldfield, but I don't think he makes public appearances anymore. It must be twenty odd years since I last saw him on telly. I thought I'd never get to see him, so I snapped up some tickets straight away. I've been to the Alexandra Theatre in Birmingham a few times. Whenever there's something on I always look to see if it's on here. It is a bit of a journey, but it's close enough to be a good backup if there isn't anything more local. It is in the middle of Birmingham though and I wouldn't advise travelling by car. It is afterall a city that is famous for its Spaghetti Junction, and it's the second biggest city, so it will come as no surprise the road system here is confusing. Parking isn't brilliant, although there are a few NCP car parks close by or you could even park at Birmingham New Street, which I would recommend and then get a taxi from the station. If you are going to drive leave at least half an hour to park and get to the theatre. Oh, and if you need disabled parking, forget it! It's abysmal. There are disabled spaces in the multi-storey NCP car parks, but a disabled space on one of the upper levels is pointless if the lifts aren't next to the disabled parking as I found out a few months earlier.

I went to see Roger Waters at the Utilita Arena in Birmingham. It's a similar set up to the Alexandra Theatre - a nightmare to get to, but very accessible when we got in. We parked in a nearby NCP car park, but couldn't find the lifts. There were several people heading the same way, so we assumed they were here for the same reason and followed. They were taking advantage of having functioning legs though and were exiting via the stairs. We turned around to look for some lifts, but were in a rush to get to the venue so it's possible we missed them. We ended up back at the stairs and a group of lads offered to carry me in the wheelchair up the stairs. Two of them immediately grabbed the front and lifted, tipping the wheelchair, unaware that there was important cargo that would flop out onto the concrete. Fortunately my Dad was still behind the chair and stopped it from tipping.

We emerged from the stairwell, they put me down and marched on at pace to the venue. I thought they'd raise me above their heads, each of them by a wheel and carry me like a king. Alas they did not.

The car park was right next to the Utilita Arena and it was a short downhill walk. We were in no doubt as to where to go as there was a large queue outside. There are certain perks to being in a wheelchair and skipping queues is one of them. It's a perk that baffles me somewhat, I'm not quite why the person sitting in a comfy seat should take priority over those standing, but it's not one I'm going to question.

I was waved to the front and passed the queue waving as if I was the King.

Inside is vast. There were thousands of people back-stage with us, looking for the arena, but it was so big I couldn't tell you how wide because I couldn't see the walls. We got into the arena and directly in front of us was a viewing platform, slightly above and directly 'behind' the stage but it was a stage that didn't have a conceivable front or back as Waters performed to all four corners of the arena.

Sorry, I got sidetracked.

We lucked out and there happened to be an empty parking space in one of the streets. Probably left empty because there was barely enough room to park. Not wanting to get a bank loan to pay for an NCP parking space, we squeezed the car in. We went to the front entrance and there was a long queue so we went to the queue free disabled entrance.
Remember I told you about perks? 

As The Alexandra doesn't have lifts, this entrance brings us about ten yards from the ground floor seats in what is a lovely, large theatre. It's got to be over a thousand capacity spread amongst three levels. If you need to stay sat in your wheelchair, you can sit on the side of the front row. There is ample room as there is plenty of floor space between the stage and the front row and there is a wide walkway to the side of the seats. I got out of my chair and sat in the seats and my chair could be parked to the side of the stage. There is a roomy disabled toilet back where we came in, far away from the general toilets so the queue isn't too long. Most of the people queing for it were actually disabled too! Although a sheepish man did emerge and had to pass two people with walking sticks and me in a wheelchair. I'm sure he devoloped a limp when he saw us.

The gig was brilliant, it was part of the fiftieth anniversary tour. I had jumped and booked the tickets when I saw the name Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells Live in Concert. If I'd read on I would have seen it said;

The Tubular Bells UK Autumn tour will feature an expansive live group, conducted and arranged by Oldfield’s long-term collaborator Robin Smith

Source: atgtickets.com

 

I'm glad I rushed and didn't read on though because I might not have bought the tickets otherwise. They were outstanding, it wasn't noticeable Mike Oldfield wasn't there. One guy was a real Mike Oldfield in waiting, playing about four hundred instruments, brilliantly. 

I may have exaggerated a bit there. Okay, it wasn't four hundred but it was a lot. There is a great video on YouTube when Mike Oldfield did the first performance live on the BBC. In the BBC video from about 19:00 minutes to 24:10 there is a constant bass riff which Mike Oldfield plays continuously. I don't know hard it is to play the same complicated riff for five minutes without missing a note or two or speeding up or slowing down. I would just played it once, put it on loop and sat there with my arms folded for five minutes. The bass guitarist at the concert also did it for five minutes. I think there were probably less musicians on stage than when Mike Oldfield played it, largely because - as previously stated - new Mike Oldfield played about four hundred instruments. Old Mike Oldfield only played the bass, booooring.

They were phenomenal. They didn't miss a beat and played other Mike Oldfield tunes like Moonlight Shadow. If they are playing at a venue I would highly recommend. They are the best band I've ever seen.

@fatpigeonsbook

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Wheelchair Worries - Andy's Man Club - It's Okay To Talk

Back in November, I thought, it's been quite a long time since my tumour, I should probably show my face and remind people I'm still alive. My insecurities and desire to avoid people, had just been a way to avoid life. But getting back into life isn't so easy after a long period of dodging it. I'm forty-two now, so I think that's mission accomplished, time for this old dog to learn some old (but new to him) tricks. Fortuitously, I received a text from my GP surgery. Their annual Community Mental Health Event was being held at Stafford Rangers Social Club. I'd been there a few times and knew it had excellent access. My main worry had already been dealt with, I knew it had wide corridors, smooth floors, a big function room and everything was on one floor.

As I had only been thinking about doing something like this for many minutes, had I manifested it? Or was it just pure coincidence?
Probably the latter.
If I were you, I wouldn't cancel those tickets for Paul McKenna's next tour. I think there's more to manifesting than just having a bit of a think.

I stuck to the idea of attending rather than making up some reason why I should take the easy way out and not go. I booked a taxi and then cancelled it immediately as my Dad said he could take me. We got to Stafford Rangers and Dad got out to get the chair and assumed I would expect him to push me around in there.
"No thanks, I'd rather go in on my own". I said.
I'd got my big boy pants on today! 💪

I wheeled myself in, self conscious of the fact that other people in wheelchairs seem to just glide along, giving the wheels a little push every few metres. I however, constantly correct my direction and stop the start like an old spluttering car.

Two women at the door greeted me and held the door open, told me to go along the corridor and turn right at the end. There was no issue of access. As I remembered, the floors were flat and smooth and the corridors were wide. I could just glide to the end of the corridor.

Could... but didn't.

Another woman greeted me at the door and told me there was a bar with refreshments to the left. I thanked her and went forth...before doubling back and asking her what do I do. I thought this was going to be a room of people all sitting in rows watching a talk/presentation or two. It wasn't. About fifteen charities had tables around the room with one or two people sat at them. You would talk to a charity that took your interest to get some further information.

I spoke to a few charities, but they wanted me to go for an interview and then wait to see if I'd been selected. Like I'd just applied to college. I didn't like how formal this was, I didn't like that I had to audition and if they deemed me worthy of help, I could attend. Katherine House Hospice were here as well. It was one of the first tables I encountered on my circuit. I was reading the information on the table, just being nosey, when I was approached.
"Can I help you?"
I knew what table I was at and fortunately, had no need for it. I didn't tell him that straight away though and had a chat, I didn't feel comfortable telling him "no thanks" . I thought Katherine House was a small charity that offered end of life care to a select few. It's actually a large charity that has two-hundred employees and six-hundred volunteers. They have a therapy and wellbeing clinic, a lymphoedema clinic, end of life care. It costs them about four million pounds a year, a lot of which is from donations. They rent space in many shops around Staffordshire where you can donate furniture. It's a big machine and a very worthwhile cause. Katherine House Hospice.

One of the first tables I came across was Andy's Man Club. The design of their station caught my attention. It was black with a hand in white making the ok sign. I stopped and a guy came out to talk to me. They are a group of men that meet up every Monday at Stafford Rugby Club for a couple of hours and gives you the chance to chat to a group of people who are all there for the same reason - to talk. I asked how many people go and he said it varies week by week but it could be as many as sixty. Whoah, that's quite a lot I thought. Straight away I was thinking about what it would be like to enter a room where sixty people all turn and look as I slowly wheel into the room, my wheelchair stopping and starting, constantly changing direction. My imagination was was running riot. I started trying to make my excuses for not going.
"I don't think people will be able to understand me, I said"
"We're chatting now and I have no difficulty in understanding you," he replied
"I don't know if I feel comfortable talking in front of that many people."
"There is no obligation to talk, you can just listen and socialise in the breaks. Some weeks I don't say anything, but last week I had a lot to get off my chest and you couldn't shut me up."

So he was a volunteer who attends these meetings himself? He handed me a flyer and I said I'd go. 

And I intended too.
And I did.

The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club.
Oops sorry. 

Same first rule, different club.

The first rule of Andy's Man Club is you don't talk about Andy's Man Club.

I shocked us both and kept to my word. Stafford Rugby Club kindly allow us the use of their facilities. There is loads of parking. There's even lots of disabled spaces which a lot of the time are left free, although there is rugby practice as well and obviously all the disabled spaces get used first. There's always people on the door to open the door for me on arrival, but I have to ask somebody to let me out as the doors aren't automatic. We meet on the first floor, but there is a lift for us mobility challenged folk.

The first time I went the guy I met at the Mental Health Event was there as well, so I wasn't in a room full of strangers. Which I am very appreciative of because I can guarantee I wouldn't have gone again the following weeks otherwise. About fifty people attend. We all sit in a big group, introduce ourselves and then get split up into smaller groups with at least one (but usually two or three) volunteers to head up the group. Oh and gallons of tea, biscuits and one of the members of our group brings a sack of pastries.

I've been going for a few months now and take advantage of the chance to talk to a captive audience. It's right what people say, it really does help to talk. We are always much harder on ourselves when left with just our own imagination. Talking to others gives me the true perspective of other people's opinion of me - which is always different to my own negative view. It's taken me a while to realise that I just try to deflect by attempting to be funny and never really speaking seriously. Andy's Man Club is a great start to my week, there's always somebody who can offer you advice, or quite often they don't offer any thoughts, you just feel better having spoken your thoughts to other people, rather than just thinking them. 

I enjoy going, it's a change of scenery and a good chance to socialise and get things off my chest. I don't think I'm too good at the socialising in breaks. Everybody's talking in a big echoey hall, which makes it hard to be heard.

I'll continue going and work on that though.

Andy's Man Club

@fatpigeonsbook

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Wheelchair Worries - Sherlock or A Quiet Place?

My eyesight is pretty poor and my eyes don't stay still, which in general isn't too much of a problem. This is only an issue when they're trying to focus on something. Then my eyes flick side to side and up and down. Fortunately, subtitles are easy to see, and I always have subtitles on. Oh except when I watch football. I'm too busy trying to follow the ball, which is rather small and constantly in motion. 

The Gentlemen (2019)

They do a decent job of making television accessible for us partially sighted folk nowadays. We have the option of putting subtitles on for most programs or films. We can change the size, the font, background or no background, font colour and background colour. All televisions, streaming services etc allow this level of customisation. Mostly. Netflix, Apple and Disney seem to make it mandatory that anything that appears on their platform has subtitles. Amazon don't. Although to be fair to them, they do when it's Amazon original content. A lot of the content on Amazon is content that hasn't been distributed by Amazon; meaning the availability of subtitles depends on the licensing agreements with the original content owners. 

I don't know about you but I always check if there's subtitles available, it's non availability can be a deal breaker.

Closed captioning is a legal requirement for all nationally broadcast media in the UK, including satellite television, cable companies, movie theaters, and DVDs. The Media Act 2024 also established minimum quotas for subtitles and signing on on-demand services.

Source: Google search - "are subtitles a legal requirement"

I didn't ask about the UK solely though, a bit presumptuous there Google

closed captioning is a legal requirement in the United States for many types of media,

Source: Google search - "are subtitles a legal requirement in America"

 

Shrinking S2 ep 9

So subtitles are a legal requirement. Interesting. Shouldn't text that is displayed on screen in any form - text message, note, letter - follow the same rules? It would appear not. The mobile phone appears in just about every program/film nowadays, which is fair enough, they are barely out of our hands and we are constantly interacting with them. So it's realistic that people are always reading things on them. Surely that should mean the director /editor /producer /tea boy? (I'm not sure how these things work), are aware of how something is displayed on screen. 

My basic knowledge comes from documentaries or 'the making of..." docs. The director always seems to be watching what's happening in front of him, on a TV screen. I accept this is the equivalent of watching Instagram to keep up with what's happening in the news though. Mr Spielberg & co may not be responsible... But somebody is

Ironically old Nokia's used to have the perfect display. Before technology advanced to allow colour, Our choice was very limited. There were a few different fonts to choose from, but the level of customisation was so basic, virtually every set up we could choose ticked all the boxes. Then technology started to get better and Blackberry's started to take over. Mobile phone's still weren't a must-have item until the dawn of smartphones. With smartphones came colour screens. Smartphones were still compliant and each phone could be customised to help with any visibility issues. But, the smartphone doesn't ship with these settings by default and as most of us have the same setup, this is how it looks when it's shown on the television. The option is there to have your text large etc, but it doesn't look very appealing on camera, so the default more appealing setup is used. None of the boxes are ticked, but that's ok if steps are taken, meaning we're not constantly having to rewind and pause to read these tiny messages for the brief moment they're on screen.

Steps aren't always taken though.

Based On A True Story S2 ep 5

A good example - In Based On A True Story S2 ep 5, Ava's phone buzzes several times. Her phone screen is filled with alerts but they're too difficult to read without pausing. however, she is with her husband - who also wants to know. She turns on the news to show him and we see the story she was alerted to. From the dialogue they have, the viewer is under no illusion as to what is happening. The briefly and barely visible phone screen wasn't the only way of getting this information.

Based On A True Story S2 ep 3

However, the same show also has a bad example. Earlier in episode three Ava is in an apartment she shouldn't be, when a cop comes in. Ava's phone vibrates and the noise it makes alerts the cop who goes to investigate. The cop finds nothing and leaves. Ava checks her phone to see why it vibrated, and we the viewer see the text message as if we are looking through her eyes and it's too small to read. Ava stares forwards as if she's just had a realisation. Unfortunately I had to rewind and pause to get the chance to have the same realisation.

Carry On

There was nobody else in the room for Ava to explain what she's just seen. We, the viewer, have to rewind and pause to read the message. The NetFlix film Carry On is a good example of what to do here. Ethan receives a text and as he reads it the message is blown up on screen so we can see it. Simple. 

Why couldn't they do something similar on Based On A True Story? Instead of viewing the message through Ava's eyes, the camera could have been in front of her, the message is blown up and then she stares into the distance in realisation. Seriously, Mr Spielberg & Co, I'm available.

Another example of a show that doesn't have any consistency, is shrinking. I have put a few of the examples I found whilst watching it. There are a couple of good examples. The whole screen is taken up by a closeup of the phone screen. The message is large and easy to read. Then there is a post on Twitter, the post is flashed up on screen but is too small to read, fortunately, Liz reads it out. It doesn't matter that we couldn't read it because it was read out to us. Then there are three examples of hard to read text. They are readable if you pause on the screen. We have to see the characters face and that they are typing/reading a message. Therefore the phone is at an angle. Again, couldn't we use the Carry On approach and have the display of the phone blown up next to them? We could read the text conversation and see their reaction. Finally we have Alice sending a text to Paul. Paul's phone is momentarily flashed up on screen at an angle that is difficult to read. Paul is visibly peeved at whatever the message says and writes a reply while muttering his reply. His mutter is inaudible and the camera switches back to his phone at an angle so the message can't be read. The phone is the only thing on the screen though, so why couldn't just be at a readable angle? I had to rewind and pause, take a picture because it was still unreadable and zoom in. Again, couldn't we use the Carry On approach? (For the older readers I mean the 2024 film, I don't mean reading the message and then grimacing cheekily at the camera and saying "Ooh! Matron")

A Quiet Place: Day One

These aren't the only options and neither might fit it in with a project, take A Quiet Place: Day One for example. The solution here was, "sod it, it's not my problem". I should say I don't know for sure if that's what they thought, but for the purpose of this post I'll pretend they did. A Quiet Place: Day One is the third installment in the A Quiet Place franchise. The premise is, you can't make a noise because you will alert the aliens who have ultra sensitive hearing, to your presence. The humans communicate by writing messages, but they can't read them out loud or even whisper them, so the viewer has no choice but to read them. As you can see from the picture, no effort has been made to make this message readable. It says "what meds do you need?" What follows is an intense scene where he's gone to another building to look for medication, something you would be none the wiser to if you didn't read the message.

The rewind button on my controller is looking worn as it's called into action again. The message is still very hard to see however, so I had to take a picture on my phone and zoom in on my picture to read it. What a faff! A faff that could have been saved if they'd inserted a few extra frames, showing a closeup view of the notepad.

As well as Carry On, Sprint is another good example. Is it a coincidence that this and Carry On are Netflix shows? Or is it just because they are the type of shows this look is appropriate for? (That's not rhetorical, it's a genuine question). From the first episode of season one, a lot of social media posts are displayed like this, so that they are clear and easy to read for ALL viewers.

Sherlock

I think the best example of a show being accessible is the BBC show Sherlock. It's fifteen years old now having first aired in 2010. It was the first show I'd noticed that integrated the reading of text messages or notes into the drama on-screen. It was seamless and the design of it was brilliant. This was a show where Mr Spielberg & Co were joined by Mr or Mrs make-things-look-good-but-also-practical-so-that-all-can-enjoy-it. 

As there would be written clues that Sherlock and Watson would get

Sherlock

throughout and text messages and notes, it would need to illustrate how Sherlock's mind works differently from ours. There was a consistent design throughout. Texts would always be white. Subject headings would be bold, while the body of the text would be smaller. The text would appear next to the person receiving it. Illustrations of how Sherlock was thinking was more free form, but would appear around an image of him thinking.

So you have three options. There is the *shrugs shoulders* not my problem approach. The get it right some of the time, but also shrug your shoulders when you can't be bothered. Or smash it outta the park every time. There needs to be some rules in place, similar to subtitles meaning all forms of text on screen have to be readable or audible for all viewers. We call that doing the Sherlock.

@fatpigeonsbook

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