Eighteenth March 2024
I don't need to ask what that date means do I? You're already saying it out loud as you're reading this, I can hear you from here. Just in case any of you need reminding, it's the date my book - Brain Tumours, John Bonham and Fat Pigeons - was published. Even though it immediately sold millions of copies - it went straight to the top of the Amazon read list and has never fallen out of the top ten (just take my word for this do not, I repeat DO NOT check this!) It then went straight in at number one of the Sunday Times best sellers and has never fallen out of the top 10 (just take my word for this as well. Do not, I repeat. DO NOT check this!) After this success I then thought I'd try to break America, they say never since the Beatles in the '60s have they seen such hysteria among the American people, and I immediately went to the top of the New York times bestseller list (once again, there's no need to check).Despite all of this unprecedented success, nobody seems to know about my book.
I'm fibbing
None of that's true, it didn't penetrate the top ten of any of those lists. In fact it didn't even bother the top one hundred of the Amazon list. Or the top one thousand. I assumed it was going to get lots of word of mouth recommendations just like Fifty Shades of Grey did. That was an Amazon best seller with seemingly little advertising. Although I now realise that people are much more interested in telling their friends to read a book about a woman wearing bondage gear getting whipped (I've never read it so forgive me if that's not true) than a bloke who feels like his brain is trying to come out through his eye sockets.Admit Defeat or Keep Banging the Drum?
Yea, so I went with the drum option.But I am banging the drum in a slightly different way. Over the years I've done various videos, reading sections of the book. Upon listening to these recently I had a brain wave, get Denzel Washington to read the audio book! Failing that Morgan Freeman. Failing that also, I'd be happy to go with Meryl Streep! Unfortunately all three have rejected my advances, but not to be deterred I've used my friend Contemplative Joe - reflective, thoughtful British Male and I've added some cartoons to go with the words as well.The audiobook isn't ready yet and no doubt Denzel, Morgan or Meryl will want to come on board just as I'm about to finish it and I'll have to start all over again.
